'selfishness rules the world' - favorite word, Essay to U.Va

I am international student and really need your help!

What is your favorite word and why?

When I first saw the topic of an essay I thought that it would be easy to pick up one word and write about it, but it was really difficult, because I wanted to find that word which I do really appreciate among others. I spent three days thinking about that word and I could not find it, then suddenly I remembered a question my teacher asked me at the eights grade. He asked me which quality did I appreciate in people's character and I told him that it was loyalty. Now I understand that the main reason for choosing...

REWRITE:
"Do not let loyalty and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart" this is one of the quotes I always keep in my mind, because it describes the most valuable quality I appreciate in humankind and there is only one word which can wholly represent this quality. This word is loyalty. Loyalty represents the most significant quality in man and that is the reason I chose it as my favorite word.

Loyalty is just seven lettered word, but it has a deep meaning and without the presence of loyalty a strong relativity can never be built. Loyalty not only needs your work done well, but also your heart and soul must be given to whoever you are loyal to. People can not be loyal to two masters, because trying to serve both of masters will cause double-mindedness.

Even though today selfishness seems to rule world and it is hard to develop ability to be loyal, I try to be loyal at least to those whom I love, to my motherland and to myself. I think that being loyal is willing to allow my own interests to take second place, it is the act of putting someone or something else ahead of myself.

Hmmm... I think you take too long to get to the point. Cut the entire first paragraph, as it's awkward and contributes nothing. Try instead perhaps a short, two sentence meditation on the difference between a word and a concept: decide which you want to follow - the texture of the word or its personal meaning.

You should try also to make your understanding of loyalty clearer - with the first paragraph cut, you should make the second into two and lengthen both. Perhaps in one talk about loyalty to yourself and your dreams, and then lead that onto loyalty to others.

The quotation(?) at the end is nice. What's it from? Also, you need an opening speech mark " otherwise I don't know where it begins. You have plenty of wordroom, so explain the quote and it personal significance to you.

Sorry if that seems a bit harsh, but I hope I've been useful.
If you could find time, I'd really appreciate some feedback on my own essay.