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My selection of Major and Why. JHU's essay, Also Cornell's essay.


Devataa 5 / 8  
Dec 29, 2009   #1
JHU PROMT: (my notes at the bottom)
Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this supplement, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did?

I confess of being a habitual explorer. My addiction seeds my indiscriminating curiosity, to which I irresistibly pursue a further investigation. Frequently, my analysis yield to a discovery which further stimulates my instrument of exploration -my brain. The most tantalizing element of Biology is its diverse quantity in brain food. Biology is merely nature at work, and nature does not "work" without its chemical or physical components. Hence, I choose such a pure science undergraduate major out of love for the art of inspecting nature. I am specifically interested in Biophysics as an undergraduate major due to its broad spectrum in Biology with a heavy emphasis in chemistry and physics.

Every Monday, at 8 PM Easter Standard Time, I am inspired by the aura of a six time nominated Golden Globe award fictional character who is based on Sherlock Holmes and Socrates. Some deem Gregory House as a misanthrope, but I crown him as a greedy genius, driven by his inquisitiveness for the bizarre. Nature itself is bizarre, which is engaging because common has hundreds of explanations, but bizarre has hardly any. That is why enigmas are so fascinating to people of logic.

Consider the history of Bacteriophage for example. Known as "bacteria eaters," Bacteriophage are bizarre oddities in the microscopic world. From the macroscopic view point, Alfred Hershey observed a known virus -consisting of only DNA and a protein coat- attach itself to a bacterial cell which soon after exploded to spill more viruses. At a time when DNA was under skepticism of encoding genetic material, it had to be identified which particular aspect of the simple virus induced such a deformity, the DNA or the protein. Nuclear chemistry suggested using radioactive labeling, in which biochemistry dictated incorporating specifically Phosphorous-32 in DNA and Sulfur-35 in protein -the reason being each lack the other element in their composition respectively. After interaction, the attacked bacteria were agitated through an innovative blender - which later inspired the kitchen appliance- then segregated through a porcelain filter and into a centrifuge. Physics states high angular momentum separates the virus and bacteria into layers due to differences in density. Radioactive readings on remnants of bacteria and viruses confirmed DNA's role in replication due to Phosphorous-32 presence in bacteria. It is interesting to see how macroscopic observations can deduce microscopic phenomenon with combined efforts of all branches of science.

It is even more so inspiring to read in that day in age, the innovative logic it took to suggest something so profound. One must think differently. For instance, when I conducted my independent research on ultrasound's effect on diffusion of antibiotics on bacteria, I realized to further prove my hypothesis, I needed a different perspective. It took visual analysis on bacterial colonies to deduce ultrasound was indeed having a significant impact on bacteria colonies. It took electrochemistry to conjure an apparatus to compare diffusion rates between a protein membrane, with and without ultrasound radiation. It took biochemistry to deduce the interaction of antibiotics with proteins which explained the visual observations on bacteria colonies. Yet, despite specific electrochemistry, biochemistry, and biology aspects, the fundamental question was mainly in the realms of biophysics: Brownian Motion. Like the Russian scientist, my complex question had a simple answer: yes, ultrasound does indicate impact on diffusion of water soluble antibiotics.

While some undergraduates may have the Messiah complex-in which they aim to save the world, I, like Gregory House and Alfred Hershey, seem to have the Rubik's complex-we aim to solve the puzzle. I believe when a question presents itself, it calls for an answer. With Biophysics, I plan to disseminate my brain to the unsolved mysteries of nature to quench my curiosity in my field of passion.

end

For JHU the major I picked was: Biophysics

Cornell's Promt: How have your interests and related experiences influenced your selection of major?

For Cornell: The major I picked was "Biological Sciences" If I substitute Biological Sciences and add the sent along the lines of: in short i am laying the foundation for my intended future in medicine." might make this essay work too., because I want to use this same essay for cornell, but the limit for Cornell is 500 words, so I want to reduce this essay by 150 words. (please help me how I can reduce this essay and where, I am pretty confident the story on Alfred needs to be reduced, need help on how, like combining sent etc. and Either expand on my independent research and conclusion, and another input on Gregory House. Should I use him or not, I kind of feel I am forcing House into this.)
gynn92 3 / 30  
Dec 30, 2009   #2
Hello there.

I really liked your first sentence. It's interesting. It made me wonder what does the writer mean by being a habitual explorer. And you lucidly explain in the first paragraph. But I dont think you would need the every monday, at 8 pm part. I'm not a science person, so I can't really comment on the content. But the structure is awesome. You start the essay very generally then going into the details. I liked it.

Will you take a look at mine?

Thank you and good luck =)
nadine83 6 / 23  
Dec 30, 2009   #3
Hi,
I onyl have a few suggestions. The essay itself is great, nice stucture and diction. However, I think you should answer the question more- why do you love biology so much? The third paragraph goes into too much detail on the scientific aspect, which I don't think they really want to read about. They want to hear more about yourself. I think you should focus more on why it's is so interesting to you.

Hope this helps!
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Jan 13, 2010   #4
I confess to being a habitual explorer.

Frequently, my analysis yields a discovery which...

It is even more so inspiring to read in that day in age, the innovative logic it took to suggest something so profound.

I believe that when a question presents itself, it calls for an answer.

I don't think you could force House into any place he didn't want to be! :) If you do write about him, you should elaborate. If you need to shorten the essay, you could easily cut about half of paragraph three, making your points, and also making the essay less confusing.


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