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School - the place where I like to visit again and again and still has influence on me


shalini singh 14 / 23  
May 7, 2010   #1
The place where I like to visit again and again and still has influence on me.

There is a famous saying "Journey of thousand miles begins with a single step". I feel our first school is the place, from where we begin our journey of life. Therefore, my first school is the place where I like to visit again and again and it still has an influence on me. I don't miss a single chance to visit my first school and recall all the childhood memories.

Cherishing memories and remembrance of my first school still brings happiness to me, It is the place where I got my first lesson and learnt basics to live a life ahead. It is hard for me to forget those lessons of mannerism which I learnt by singing a rhyme with my friends. After getting out of the cocoon stage of our parents care, it was the place which taught and introduced us with the different horizens of life, nature and the world. Socialization and making friend, sharing with friend, respect of elders, be a good citizen all these are the qualities which I learnt there. Moreover, major stage of our life from a kid to a grown adolescent we spent at our school, due to which that place still has an influence on me.

Not only I got our basic lessons there but we also learnt different aspects of life like: History, Science, Math and many more subject. Basic knowledge of all these subjects helped us to decide a future career for our self, commensurate with the interest. Furthermore, school helped us to face these career challenges, also it fostered knowledge and intelligence to have a successful career. Its was motivation from our teacher and competition we had at school which made us work hard and achieve success in life.

Amidst all this , I got my best friend there who is very close to my heart; she is more than a family member to me. It is not only because we were in same school for couple of years but we were together in different stages of life from a kid to an adult. I love her and thanks my school for being a place where i first met with her.

I don't miss a single chance to visit my first school and recall all the childhood memories. It gives me immense pleasure to be there and meet with my teachers. Love and satisfaction in there eyes transforms a positive energy to keep moving and make them proud on there basic lessons which they taught us.

I feel they deserve lot more than a word of thanks from us and making them feel proud will be best way to thank them for there efforts. This is all why I feel that my first school and my teachers still has a influence on me.
Shukur 2 / 2  
May 7, 2010   #2
not bad. just once review will be ok
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
May 10, 2010   #3
Therefore, my first school is the place where I like to visit again and again, and this place still has an influence on me.

I hope you will read the FIRST SENTENCE OF EVERY PARAGRAPH in your essay to figure out What is my main idea for the whole essay? Then, write a sentence that captures that idea, expressing the main idea in one sentence -- and add that sentence to the end of the first paragraph:

...like to visit again and again and still has an influence on me. (add thesis sentence here, and then end paragraph one)
(new paragraph)
Cherishing memories and ...
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
May 12, 2010   #4
I like to trim away unnecessary words to make the writing more concentrated:

I feel our first school is the place from where we begin our journey of life.

Not only I got not only our basic lessons, but also lessons in various aspects of life: History, Science, Math...

This is all why I feel that my first school and my teachers still has have influence on me.

:-)
rvaidyan - / 4  
May 12, 2010   #5
This is all why I feel that my first school and my teachers still has have influence on me.

I may even go one step further ...

This is all why I feel that my first school and my teachers still has have influence on me.

But, that's just an opinion. Kevin is probably more correct than I am ...

:)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
May 14, 2010   #6
Yes, excellent! I think it is even better, and the action of "influence" is intensified. Good call.

I love brevity so much that sometimes I just say "Medium regular" even though I actually would like milk instead of cream. :-)

Brevity makes it so that the reader can really fully experience what you say. If you say too much, her attention is divided.


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