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"School of Hotel Administration" - My cornell hotel admin essay.


amberisdead 9 / 28  
Jan 2, 2011   #1
Hi people! I'm applying to cornell, so i'm not sure whether my essay is too light-hearted for a serious school like Cornell.
Also, my word count is 550, can u help me to cut down to 500? My grammar is really bad so i need some help on that as well!

Thanks peopleļ¼ All kinds of criticism are welcomed:)

School of Hotel Administration:
What work and non-work experiences, academic interests, and career goals influenced your decision to study hospitality management? How will these contribute to your success at the School of Hotel Administration?ps i'm not sure whether i am suppose to write abt how cornell appeals to me( details etc) or how i am perfect for cornell?

I love playing hostess. I love talking to people and making them feel welcomed in my house. Moreover, it is always an interesting process of preparing the house to a more visitor-friendly version.

Whenever friends or relatives are coming over, my family and I will always up the cleanliness standard to a whole new level. From picking up dirty clothes to de-cluttering the house so that the guest can actually see the interior design, it is an arduous task. Not one single detail is to be missed; extra toilet paper is stored in the bathrooms, hand sanitizers are replenished and throw pillows are propped neatly against the sofa. The equally important factor is the food. We will have to come up with a well-balanced dinner menu consisting of a main staple, desserts, drinks and fruits. My mum, who has a knack for cooking for a crowd, will then proceed to spend hours in the kitchen. Of course, for a family with four children, things can spin out of control. As the eldest of the family, I am quite adept at handling special situations, i.e. cleaning up broken bowls and spilled milk. Hence, to prevent such situations from happening, I will have to employ my powers of persuasion and authority to make sure my siblings are always on their best behaviour. I love the feeling of accomplishment upon seeing the house spick and span, ready for the arrival of our guests. This is when I realise that maybe I am cut out to work in the field of hospitality management.

Hospitality management is a very challenging job. The hospitality industry is the world's largest and most dynamic industry. It is very diverse and it ranges from lodging, food, entertainment to customer service. I believe that the management of such an industry requires one to be well-spoken, meticulous as well as the ability to think on his/her feet. Hence, I believe the area of hospitality management is in many ways similar to my experiences of playing host. Firstly, I enjoy the public and entertaining guests, as I am generally an extrovert. I find it essential for one to enjoy his/her job, as this line of work many be demanding and requires impeccable patience with people. Secondly, I feel that people-management skills are fairly crucial in maintaining a strict code of conduct in this industry. This is why I feel that I can relate to this field of work as I have been trained everyday to maintain a certain level of discipline in the house with my younger siblings around. Thirdly, the hospitality industry has a diverse clientele, and sometimes misunderstandings are caused when dealing with overseas clients with cultural differences. Growing in Singapore, a unique multi-ethnic country, I have learnt to interact with people of varying races and cultural backgrounds. This provides me with the necessary experiences in dealing with people from all walks of life.

I look forward to studying at the Cornell School of Hotel Administration. I can't wait to participate in the Hotel Ezra Cornell conference, where I can practice the skills I have learnt in classrooms and showcase them to industry professionals. Cornell University is a pioneer in the world of education, and it offers me the best education I can get in the field of Hospitality Management.

END
hope it did not bore u haha
Sqidly 2 / 5  
Jan 2, 2011   #2
I think it fits the question perfectly !

First off, your first sentence is fine but you don't need the two after it. You can just add that sentence to the paragraph below.

Also in this line -

Hence, to prevent such situations from happening, I will have to employ my powers of persuasion and authority to make sure my siblings are always on their best behaviour

you can change it to

In order to prevent such situations from happening, I have to employ my powers of persuasion and authority to ensure that my siblings are always on their best behaviour.

You don't need to put his/her. Saying their sounds less repetitive.

Hope that helps! :)
OP amberisdead 9 / 28  
Jan 2, 2011   #3
Thanks for ur help!
What about the grammar and stuff? I think my grammar and sentence structure is really atrocious here( must be due to lack of sleep)
canes4life 3 / 47  
Jan 2, 2011   #4
You should avoid the first, secondly, thirdly. It sounds exactly like a laundry list.

Growing up in Singapore, a unique multi-ethnic country, I have learnt to interact with people of varying races and cultural backgrounds.
ready for our guests' arrival.
ready for the arrival of our guests. This is when I realise that maybe I am cut out to work in the field of hospitality management.

I don't think you should say maybe. It makes you sound like you're unsure of yourself. It will sound stronger if you leave it out.

Also you shouldn't say very so much as it is an unnecessary modifier.

Hope this helps!


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