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Personal reward and satisfaction Why I want to become a nurse & further my education


ktdahl 1 / -  
Dec 26, 2012   #1
I am writing an essay that must be 500 words to answer the following questions:
What motivates you to become a nurse?
What is your vision of your nursing career?
What mark will you leave in health care?
How do you fit in the field?
I feel that I have answered all the questions, but I need roughly 200 more words.

What motivates me to become a nurse is the personal reward and satisfaction of helping the ill and improving their quality of life. My vision of my nursing career includes giving aid to those in need, comforting the sick and celebrating life in every aspect. I will soon receive my RN licensure in May of 2013 and I have discovered that nursing is a truly rewarding career. I am eager to further my education by transferring to a Baccalaureate program in order to expand my knowledge and advance my nursing career so I can provide better care for my patients. As a natural extension to my nursing career, I will also be able to explore career paths that are only available to nurses with this higher level of education. I have fully dedicated myself to my career as a Nurse and am willing to work hard to ensure I meet my educational and career goals. The mark that I will leave in health care is compassion. I am determined to continue to put smiles on patients and their families faces as I enjoy helping others. I fit in this field because I am kindhearted, thoughtful, reliable, honest, trustworthy and I strive for excellence. I have envisioned myself in a very rewarding career and look forward to expanding my knowledge with a Baccalaureate degree. In conclusion, becoming a baccalaureate prepared nurse is far more than a job for me; rather it is a continuous embark on compassion and excellence. It gives me the opportunity to make life changes in others and in return I receive the magnificent award of personal satisfaction from helping the ill.
sj1912 3 / 18 1  
Dec 26, 2012   #2
ummm, I read your essay it is definitely an honest piece with solid points but you could rephrase it in a way "show dnt tell"...

What motivates me to become a nurse is the personal reward and satisfaction of helping the ill and improving their quality of life. My vision of my nursing career includes giving aid to those in need, comforting the sick and celebrating life in every aspect.

you could write ab how u picture urself as a nurse in future, relieving pain and doing selfless serivce! just describe the emotion u feel while u r helping the sick, a lil dramatization wont hurt!

I enjoy helping others. I fit in this field because I am kindhearted, thoughtful, reliable, honest, trustworthy and I strive for excellence.

god points but they again are more of general sentences....u need 200 mre words, u can esaily do that by elaborating on ur emotions !! u ENJOY helping, how...give an example or two! plus dnt sweat it abt d word limit , just elaborate a lil and ull reach there! gudluck!

P.S.- review mine too please!


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