I am writing an essay for my readmission application and I really want it to show that I take responsibility for not doing well in the past (I left voluntarily though) and that I have learned from my experience. Basically I just want it to be really well written so as to maximize the possibility of my getting a second chance.
[The assignment: Tell us about an achievement or ability not reflected in this application.]
(I didn't really follow the instructions as well as I possibly should have, but I feel since it is a readmission application, it's necessary to touch upon the points that I have included. I'm not sure though, so please let me know what you think. Thank you)
I am applying for readmission to NJIT because I believe I have identified and learned from the mistakes I made which convinced me to leave. I have also strengthened the qualities that made me a candidate for acceptance in the first place. At the start of my academic career, I was grateful for the opportunity to participate in such a successful and vibrant culture of higher learning. However, I developed negligent academic and personal habits that were evident of a state of depression. Initially, I did not put forth the effort necessary to succeed in all of my classes, despite the fact that I believe had the ability to do so. Instead of following better study habits and seeking help by communicating to my professors, peers, and loves ones that I was having trouble, I became more discouraged. I decided that I should take time to identify why I made the choices I did and to rediscover my enthusiasm for both science and engaging with others to learn in a classroom setting.
I have worked to be more financially independent, making me realize how much more I can accomplish with a college degree. I have continued to read textbooks and other educational materials. I even purchased an oscilloscope and enjoyed learning from hands-on experiments. Working as a math, chemistry, and physics tutor also helped to reaffirm my passion for helping myself and others see the wonders that science can unveil and how the utilization of that knowledge can be a true benefit to society.
If allowed to resume my academic studies at NJIT, I would focus much more on my schoolwork and on being a valuable part of the student community. Setting aside ample study time outside of the classroom in which to gradually and consistently absorb the subject material as it is presented would be a starting point. I would also participate in study groups and seek tutoring, such as the services offered in the Math Tutoring Center in Cullimore Hall. If I had any trouble at all, I would communicate honestly and immediately with my professors, advisor, peers, and family in order to receive any help or advice I would need.
Ever since I was young, I have always been interested in science and the influence it can have on the world as we know it. I still watch the kind of PBS Nova specials and read the kind of science articles that have fascinated me throughout my life. If readmitted to NJIT, I would act to passionately pursue my dreams of having a positive impact on the academic community by learning and contributing everything I can from this great institution and graduating with my engineering degree. Thank you for your thoughtful consideration.
You can't really use this essay at this point because it does not properly respond to the prompt provided. I do understand that you want to show the admissions officer that there are definite reasons that he should consider you application for readmission using this prompt. So let me offer you some advice as to how you can properly do that without deviating from the prompt requirements.
What you will need to do is let the admissions officer know from the very start that you are applying for readmission. Now, I assume that you will have continued to do things during the gap term that can be considered continued education on your part, in relation to the major you are hoping to complete studies in. Talk seriously about the achievement or ability that you enhanced during this time away. Make sure that you do not deviate from that. It is imperative that you stay on track as you try to convince the admissions officer of your worthiness for readmission. The way you write that part of the essay will be the proof that you need to convince the person that there is a distinct possibility that you can succeed this time around and maybe, just maybe, he might decide to take a chance on your application and recommend you to the other reviewers for possible readmission.
Don't present information that the prompt does not require. This essay prompt does not accommodate the information you currently have provided. As such, the admissions officer could opt to not read your application or not finish reading it because it does not provide the information he needs to judge your ability as a readmitted student.
