Hi.
Please review my essay on the above mentioned topic. Are these achievements strong enough?
Also, the word limit is 300 words and I have over run it by almost 100 words. Kindly help reduce the word count.
regards.
Proof of concept for Xerox
While working with Wipro Technologies, in 2009, on a project to develop a high end MFP printer I realized that the advent of new technology renders its predecessors obsolete before their age. I started researching on cost effective solutions that could bring such devices at par with the new ones. I conceived a POC to provide Wi-Fi support to older generation Xerox printers with a $15 USB wi-fi dongle.
The POC was accepted by the client and resulted in a $30,000 project for Wipro. The project eliminated the need of wired network mesh resulting in substantial cost beneifts. My contribution to the success of this project was appreciated by the Project Manager and senior management.
This experience gave me great insights into the business aspect of the technology. Being the sole developer and a direct contact for the client, I became more responsible as I realized that my actions were a direct reflection of my organization. More imoprtantly, the project provided Wipro with a strong foundation to build a new relationship with the client and opportunities to hatch larger deals with them.
Living up to the friendship
It was the second year of my college when two of my close friends met with a serious accident in which one of them lost his life. Amit was lucky to survive but with multiple fractures and a head injury. With fourth semester exams beginning in three weeks time, I had two options -inform his parents, hide my face and run into anonymity or bring him back to life. I am glad that I chose the latter.
In the days which followed, while everybody else confined themselves into the forewalls of their books; I sat by his side, cleaned and fed him, took his reports to doctors, prepared him for the exams when he was awake, completed his assignments when he was asleep and took him to examination center during exams.
With gods grace and my efforts, Amit not only made a speedy recovery but also cleared all but one subject. Although my own grades took a slight tumble, I was satisfied that I could prevent him from repeating the entire semester again and stood by him on his road to recovery.
The fact that Istood by my values and could keep somebody else's well being above my personal success makes this incident an achievement. After all, compassion is what binds humanity.
Your first achievement confused me a bit as I am not familiar with many of the technological abreviations and terminolgy that was used. I know that you are trying to keep word count down so explaining these terms would be unreasonable, but maybe you should atleast spell them out so maybe theres a better chance of people's understanding. The second achievement sounds like a pretty inspirational story. I really liked title as it seems perfect to the story but would suggest maybe adding a little more personal detail to the story. Rather than just listing off the things you did for your friend you should instead forcus more on the immense amount of time that you spent doing these things and all of the great sacrifices that you made. These are just a few suggestions and I am no pro, so take or leave whatever you like.
