Question #2:
Please describe any special circumstances that you would like us to consider that may have affected your ability to achieve academically. This may include personal circumstances, family experiences, and opportunities that were or were not available at your school or home. If you participated in an educational preparation program (i.e, EAOP, Talent Search, Upward Bound, PUENTE, etc.) please describe your level of involvement and how each program was beneficial to you.
When I started high school I was very shy, I was probably one of the most timid people in school. I was socially awkward, it was hard for me to make friends. I would never ask questions even when I really needed help. My freshman year in high school was probably one of the hardest years for me academically and socially. Since I never talked to anyone I would only hang out with my sister. She was the only influence I had and she was a bad one. We rebelled; we would ditch almost everyday and at night we would sneak out and go to parties. I did not do so good in my classes either and since my mom did not care I did whatever I wanted. I felt that no one cared about me, until my second semester when I had a class,Career Exploration, I never thought of my life outside of high school. That class really got me thinking that I could be someone in life. For the rest of my high school career I really tried and I did it all on my own, no one helped me but at least I get to say I accomplished something on my own. I tried to challenge myself, I joined clubs, Avid, and tried courses that challenged me. Even though It was hard, especially with my sister still on my back, I got though it. My last year In high has been stressful. To start on a positive note the summer before I started school we went on one of the most memorable vacations. We went on a road trip through the southern states to visit family in Florida, but when we came back home my sister was different. She was acting different, she looked different. We did not know what was wrong with her and we still don't. At the time she was living with her boyfriend, the reason she rebelled in the first place. We did not know if she was having a mental breakdown or was taking drugs or if her boyfriend was giving them to her without her knowing. She was like this for a month before we decided to take her to a mental institute. I felt like I could not help her. I would cry for days, not knowing what was wrong with her. We would visit her in the hospital almost everyday, it was hard going to school the next day. I did not want to tell anyone , and i still haven't. Then she had left the mental hospital and came to our house then disappeared for two months. I was emotional stressed, wanting her to get better, yet I had to focus on myself. I felt selfish wanting to be focused on school and on college applications which made me even more stressed. Also taking care of my younger sister. It has been extremely stressful wanting the best for my older sister. Just a few days ago she came back , I broke down crying but I looked at her and she did not care and she left again like nothing happened. Now I see that I need to move on and worry about my future. As a woman, I now understand that it is about me now.
From reading this, you have an "OK" essay so far as to submit for your special circumstances. But if I were you I would seriously consider revising it thoroughly, you have a lot of instances where you use switch from past tense to present tense words while still staying in a past tense narration. And also, the flow of your essay could be a lot better, (the transition from your high school to a trip in a Florida could use some work.) But if I were you, I would like to hear more on how the experience in Florida affected you, because when reading it it honestly doesn't sound too genuine.
But hey, it's just my opinion, you can keep it the way you want.
