Unanswered [0] / Featured [2] / Urgent [0]
 

Home / Undergraduate /     

Princeton Short Answer How did you spend your summers?


answers: 4
Dec 31, 2009, 12:01pm   #
Hi, this is the summers question for Princeton. I just can't seem to make this flow and it feels really boring. Any criticism is appreciated. Thank you in advance!

Please tell us how you have spent the last two summers (or vacations between school years), including any jobs you have held, if not already detailed on the Common Application.

Culture has and always will be a major part of my life during school and after school. During the summer of 2008, my family and I traveled to India. Dressing up is always part of the fun for an Indian occasion: even more fun this time, because we were about to witness an actual Indian wedding. My sisters and I decked ourselves in the finest jewelry, sliding bangles up our arms, locking the necklace in the back and donning a pavadai-davani and pavadai-shattais. After arriving in the hall, we waited expectantly for the bride and groom-to-be to arrive for the reception. After their arrival, a good hour was spent taking pictures: family from the groom's side, family from the bride's side, friends from both sides, and people we plain just didn't know. Click, click, went the camera as we struggled to maintain the smile that had been plastered on our faces for over an hour now. Nevertheless, we were still to see the most fascinating part of an Indian wedding ceremony: the actual ritual, which was performed the next day in the early hours of the morning. Again, we rose early decking ourselves in the finest of ornaments, but that was nothing compared to the bride herself. She walked into the hall, bells jangling and hair swishing, and all eyes were upon her. First was the recitation of the traditional prayers by the priest, followed by a lively game between the groom's brothers and the bride's brothers. This was followed by a traditional ceremony in which the bride and groom sat in a swing and were blessed by all the married women in the family. I watched in awe as my mother went up to them. This was a very interesting ceremony to watch, as I experienced firsthand how incredibly mind-blowing it is to be a part of my culture.
Culture came alive once more during this past summer, the summer of 2009. September of this year, my sister and I 'ascended the stage' for our dance debut recital: a culmination, graduation-type performance after learning for 12 years. This opportunity is only given to students by the teacher once she feels the students are up to par and can handle a three-and-a-half hour solo recital. During this summer, my sister and I practiced for our recital, having been given the get-go from our teacher about a year ago. Meticulous attention was rewarded to each and every piece, because the sheer difficulty of performance together lay in coordination. If one person's hand were to be even the slightest bit below the other's hand, the visual field would not be pleasant to the audience. We videotaped each practice session to see how we could improve, watched our friend's DVD to match the steps precisely, and did each dance five times separately and together to fix each other's mistakes as well. Our efforts eventually paid off as we 'ascended the stage' in September. At the completion of the recital, we stood on stage to thunderous applause: we had succeeded in bringing our culture alive.

Dec 31, 2009, 01:28pm   #
By the way, the Princeton supplement asks for only 2500 characters, but mine is 2939 characters and 511 words...

Any suggestions as to how to improve and shorten it?
Dec 31, 2009, 03:01pm   #
Can someone please look at this and offer suggestions?

I want to submit this actually within the hour!

Thanks
Dec 31, 2009, 06:47pm   #
Culture has and always will be a major part of my life during school and after school. During the summer of 2008, my family and I traveled to India. Dressing up is always part of the fun for an Indian occasion: even more fun this time, because we were about to witness an actual Indian wedding but this time was going to be more fun, because we were going to witness an Indian wedding. My sisters and I decked ourselves in the finest jewelry, sliding bangles up our arms, locking the necklace in the back and donning a pavadai-davani and pavadai-shattais. After arriving in the hall, we waited expectantly for the bride and groom-to-be to arrive for the reception. After their arrival,a good hour was spent taking pictures: family from the groom's side, family from the bride's side, friends from both sides, and people we plain just didn't know. Click, click, went the camera as we struggled to maintain the smile that had been plastered on our faces for over an hour now. Nevertheless, we were still to see the most fascinating part of an Indian wedding ceremony: the actual ritual, which was performed the next day in the early hours of the morning. Again, we rose early decking ourselves in the finest of ornaments, you don't need this part here, since nothing important happened while they took pictures of you but that was nothing compared to the bride herself. She walked into the hall, bells jangling and hair swishing, and all eyes were upon her. First was the recitation of the traditional prayers by the priest, followed by a lively game between the groom's brothers and the bride's brothers. This was followed by a traditional ceremony in which the bride and groom sat in a swing and were blessed by all the married women in the family. I watched in awe as my mother went up to them. This was a very interesting ceremony to watch, as I experienced firsthand how incredibly mind-blowing it is to be a part of my culture. you have already stated how interesting and excited you were about the wedding
Culture came alive once more during this past summer, the summer of 2009. September of this year, my sister and I 'ascended the stage' for our dance debut recital: a culmination, graduation-type performance after learning for 12 years. This opportunity is only given to students by the teacher once she feels the students are up to par and can handle a three-and-a-half hour solo recital. During this summer, my sister and I practiced for our recital, having been given the get-go from our teacher about a year ago. it's not necessary Meticulous attention was rewarded to each and every piece, because the sheer difficulty of performance together lay in coordination. If one person's hand were to be even the slightest bit below the other's hand, the visual field would not be pleasant to the audience. We videotaped each practice session to see how we could improve, watched our friend's DVD to match the steps precisely, and did each dance five times separately and together to fix each other's mistakes as well. Our efforts eventually paid off as we 'ascended the stage' in September. At the completion of the recital, we stood on stage to thunderous applause: we had succeeded in bringing our culture alive.


I liked your topic. It shows how proud you feel about your background. I tried to help you with the length issue you had. It was an interesting essay to read :)

Can you read my essay, please?
If you haven't already submitted this, I would recommend breaking it up into two or three paragraphs. One big block of text is a little daunting - and think of how many of these things the AdCom will have to read!



Home / Undergraduate /

Thread closed ✓