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Philosophy, psychology / Music and education - Suppliment essay for Lehigh


4151yhh 3 / 9  
Dec 30, 2011   #1
Please proofread these following short answers for Lehigh University and point out the grammatical errors, every comments will be helpful~ Thank you!!

1. If you founded your own college or university, what topic of study would you make mandatory for all students to study and why? What would be the values and priorities of your institution and why?

The topics of study that I would make mandatory would be philosophy and psychology. Those are two different but closely related subjects that can guide one's life by building a gateway to self-awareness and self-improvement. Studying philosophy helps to develop a student's knowledge of personal values, ethical standards, and critical thinking skills, which are essential to a person's level of maturity, and on a bigger scale, to a moral community. Studying psychology, students will achieve a more profound self-awareness. Especially with college freshmen, studying psychology will help them quickly adjust to problems and stresses from a new environment. Because both philosophy and psychology compliment each other, I propose both as mandatory topics of study for all students to study in my college.

Success doesn't have to be related to money, or fame. Because true success will befall those who properly understand personal values and perform responsibly to society and themselves, the values and priorities of my institution will be to educate students to become knowledgeable, self-disciplined, responsible and productive citizens.

2. What aspect of Lehigh most interests you? (150-250 words)

There are many aspects that make Lehigh University stand out on my college list. One of the most important aspects is the outstanding education that Lehigh University offers. As an undecided student, I am profoundly attracted by the balanced excellence across each of the four Lehigh colleges. Along with the outstanding education, Lehigh's small class sizes ensure an even higher quality education, where students can benefit from more attention and assistance from the professors. Besides the outstanding educational programs, Lehigh University College of Arts and Sciences provides many music programs, which will fulfill my musical educational interest. With the preeminent education and abundant music programs, Lehigh University will be an excellent school to assist me accomplishing my educational goal.
edwkoc 4 / 12  
Dec 30, 2011   #2
For the second essay, your first sentence just takes up word space. In a supplement like this you don't need a filler sentence like that to introduce your paragraph because the person reading it will already have a good idea of what you are about to say.

I like your first supplement. In general try to add more personal touches to your supplements! They're good though!
OP 4151yhh 3 / 9  
Dec 30, 2011   #3
Thank you for your advice, I have changed my first suppliment a little bit and added some personal experience in it.
Here is the revise verson:

The topics of study that I would make mandatory would be philosophy and psychology. Those are two different but closely related subjects that can guide one's life by building a gateway to self-awareness and self-improvement. My philosophy "lessons" were taken at my dinner table. When I was in middle school, my father and I were the only two households. Because my father does not cook, we always had dinner out with guests that he invited, and I became the audience to advices and thoughts. Thanks to those "lessons", I have developed my own view of personal values, ethical standards, and critical thinking skills. I wish philosophy will serve the same function to other students, and with the improvement of individuals, our community will also improve. I have always interested in psychology. When I became a senior, I finally started my psychology class. Studying psychology, I achieved a better understanding of my own behavior and emotion. If college freshmen have this understanding as well, I believe they will quickly adjust to problems and stresses from a new environment. Because both philosophy and psychology compliment each other, I propose both as mandatory topics of study for all students to study in my college.

Success doesn't have to be related to money, or fame. Because true success will befall those who properly understand personal values and perform responsibly to society and themselves, the values and priorities of my institution will be to educate students to become knowledgeable, self-disciplined, responsible and productive citizens.

Please comment if you have any futhur advices


Home / Undergraduate / Philosophy, psychology / Music and education - Suppliment essay for Lehigh
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