The person whose trait has influenced me the most is My Father

PLS I NEED CORRECTION WHERE NEEDED

THE PERSON THAT HAS INFLUENCED ME THE MOST
Everyone would say one's parents are the people that have the most influence and that they are the ones who show one the difference between the good and bad things in life. Parents teach and nurture, and even though still is able to make decisions by oneself, those decisions are influenced in subtle ways. In my case the person who has influenced my decisions the most is my father.

My father is one of those few people I look unto as a role model, a person of integrity and of substance. I feel so lucky to have him as a Father and my mother is so fortunate to have him as a Husband. He is the most independent person I've came across and the most hard-working person I would ever know. He is a person that leads by example, who spends his spare times having inspirational lectures with his kids and who has never failed to instill the legacy of his father into his kids. He is not only a father to me but also a friend, my companion and my inspiration. There isn't anything that would hurt me other than my father telling me that he is disappointed in my behaviour and nothing that would make me happy other than he telling me he is proud of who I have become. What could one look for in a role model other than the way he/she leads by example.

My father was born into a wealthy family during the Colonial period but his father never made him believe he was born with a silver spoon. His Father made him work as hard as if he were from a poor family, throughout this period he did complain because his Senior ones weren't given the same treatment. His father was an Engineer so he always takes my father on most of his business trips, his mother would always complain but my father always tells her to let his father instill the required knowledge and discipline in him. I do wonder how a boy who is just 7 years could know the difference between good and bad decisions and who was able to make the good decisions. All these treatments made him hardworking, capable of handling challenges and capable of making decisions by himself. My father would never go to bed unless his father comes back from his working place at 12:00PM during this period he would have been given an assignment by his father which is to be completed before his arrival. This condition went on for a short period of time because his father died at an early age of 40, and he realized that all the which his father made him undergo was for his own benefit and he continued to live the legacy of his father,other than his Senior ones who never subdue themselves to the discipline their father was trying to instill in him,

I always did wonder how My father is able to make some tough decisions in life, and I remembered he was able to make a tougher decision when he was little and the older he becomes the easier his decision making process.

He inspired me to be determined in whatever I want to do, to never relent in my efforts and never to take challenges as an obstacle to ones success but as a stepping stone to a greater success.

Sometimes when I think of my father I do think of those things that made him who he is; his integrity, his confidence, his independence , the way he never looks down on people, the way he never thinks less of people, the way he handles challenges; he is a person of worth to the society and those her the traits that inspired me most.

Gazing at the mirror I see a person of honour, worth and integrity to the society , his reflection "me" and I'm grateful to the person who made me who I am today "MY FATHER"

Hi.

You father is definitely an awesome person! However, you need to show, aka describe in detail what he has down that has an impact on you, instead of listing down all his awesome personalities in full glory!


This sentence is bad! Everything in front of "but" is grammatically sound, but you cannot introduce your father just like that because he is special enough that he deserves to be placed in another sentence!

There are a lot of other sentence that need to be separated as well, like this one:


It is often hard to writing about someone who has been with all your life without resisting the urge to write down everything that he deserve. But writing everything about him in such a short essay is unfair to him, cuz it does not show how he present himself as the great person that you have described. Instead, focus on one thing, get one topic, and show his personality, and more importantly, how it has influenced you to become the person you want to be.

G L~

Thanks, but what should i write in place of "Everyone would say ones parent are the people that has influenced one the most, they are the ones who shows one the difference between the good and bad things in life, nurture one still one is able to make decisions by oneself"

Use an apostrophe: one's
Everyone would say one's parents are the people that have the most influence and that they are the ones who show one the difference between the good and bad things in life. Parents teach and nurture, and even though still is able to make decisions by oneself, those decisions are influenced in subtle ways. In my case the person who has influenced my decisions the most is my father.

Try typing it this way, and see if it helps you to express the ideas clearly. I don't know how to explain it, but this is the way I would write it.

You do not need to capitalize the f in father. People only capitalize the F if they use "Father" like a name. But if you say "my father" you should not capitalize the f.

:-)

Thanks kelvin that really helped, so can you go through it one more time and make corrections where needed

Hi.

I am really glad that you are making so much progress. This essay flows significantly better than the original one. However, there are still rooms for improvement.


So, what have you determined to do? How has your father's quality influenced your decision? Or at least, share with us what you have learned from your father's quality that you have reflected in your own life. This essay focus primarily on your father and what he has done as a kid, but I think you need to make yourself the focus.

Keep working, you are making good progress. =D

G L~

Btw, the sentence that I have quoted is really long.

He inspired me to be determined in whatever I want to do, to never relent in my efforts and to never take challenges as obstacles, but as stepping stones to my own success.

Thanks that really helped zengr i will make that correction