Applying for College For the Best Education
Currently, one of the main worries that students face while applying to college is whether or not they will be receiving a quality education. As rumors have it, many undergraduate classes at large universities are taught by student aids while professors are busy doing research to boost their personal reputation. Students crowd into lecture halls by the hundreds to take notes off PowerPoint slides; some only see their professor on the first and last day of the semester. Like others, this was also my primary worry when I first began applying to colleges. But then I discovered the University of Chicago.
The University of Chicago is the perfect balance of everything I want in my next four years. With approximately 5,500 students enrolled each year, the University still maintains a student-faculty ratio of 6 to 1 guaranteeing me an exceptional education. As someone who wishes to seek success beyond my personal world, I intend to major in International Studies at Chicago, with a minor in Sociology.
The University's International Studies program gives me the opportunity to explore the field from social, cultural, political, and economic standpoints which will give me a deeper comprehension of the world. Chicago's Sociology program provides an original method to the examination of interactions between groups or individuals by emphasizing inquiry and intellectual respect. I plan to take classes such as Contemporary Global Issues and Local Bodies, Global Capital to learn more about the new domestic and international challenges we face in this new millennium and how they relate to each other. I aspire to find a solution to maximize the potential of each person which will strengthen society as a whole. My ultimate goal is to become a global humanitarianism with a focus on human relations.
As someone who firmly believes that schooling should not get in the way of my education, I'm excited to see that the University of Chicago encourages its students to take risks and gain first-hand experience of the world around them. As an International Studies major, I hope to study abroad in Latin America or Africa to fully understand the challenges that exists in these countries. Upon researching the University's study abroad programs, I plan to expand my knowledge on society and culture in Botswana and the Dominican Republic.
Meanwhile, at home, I look forward to becoming part of the Chicago Weekly or Sliced Bread, both of which are student publications. Throughout high school, my involvement in newspaper and literary magazines gave me a multitude of opportunities to explore and cultivate my interests and I hope to do the same at Chicago.
More than anything, I believe in the type of culture and community Chicago nurtures in allowing its students to develop the discerning audacity to approach problems in innovative ways while keeping an open mind. My childhood from Riverside has refined my definition of variety; I've realized the importance of diversity while attending one of California's most culturally diverse high schools. At Chicago, I want to appreciate and understand the different walks of life through acknowledgement of each individual's motives, beliefs and values. The perspectives I obtain from this experience will facilitate my efforts in improving society.
The University of Chicago not only emphasizes ethnic diversity, but also diversity of thought and opportunity. As a Chicago student, I will have the freedom to form new ideas and solve problems as I set forth on my path towards success. This University encourages me to take risks and think outside the box while I find my place in society. Upon graduation, I want to join the other Chicago alumni who are making a difference in more than 100 countries around the world.
*Prompt Question: How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to UChicago.
PLEASE criticize/edit as much as possible! Thank you.Is this the first essay? I would say this is a pretty big essay. Cut it down. Let me go through it and check for any mistakes.
It actually does not give me a specific word count on my application, but I will definitely have to cut it down a bit. I will post it shortly. Thank you.
[quote=yuzec95]Currently, one of the main worries that students face while applying to college is whether or not they will be receiving a quality education. As rumors have it, many undergraduate classes at large universities are taught by student aids while professors are busy doing research to boost their personal reputation. Students crowd into lecture halls by the hundreds to take notes off PowerPoint slides; some only see their professor on the first and last day of the semester. Like others, this was also my primary worry when I first began applying to colleges. But then I discovered the University of Chicago.
Beginning is very blunt, awkwardly cuts to Chicago.
Also, what you said is not necessarily (or even likely) the worry of others
The University of Chicago is the perfect balance of everything I want in my next four years. With approximately 5,500 students enrolled each year, the University still maintains a student-faculty ratio of 6 to 1 guaranteeing me an exceptional education. As someone who wishes to seek success beyond my personal world, I intend to major in International Studies at Chicago, with a minor in Sociology.
They know they're exceptional, what specifically about this school makes it specifically beneficial to you.
If I were you, I'd get rid of the into entirely. Their common app instructions say 1-2 paragraphs, meaning there is no need/room for an an introductory paragraph that says nothing
The use of statistics and numbers throughout is unnecessary as it sounds like you are spitting back the paragraph they have convincing you in a brochure. Its a good essay and I appreciate the passion, but try and personalize it more!
personalize it more!
How can I personalize it more?
Well, I love your aspirations and details as to how you plan to use your UChicago education, but I think instead you may want to open with an anecdote or a statement that draws them in. Don't sell the school to the admissions, sell yourself as a student! Open with something edgy or funny and then move into your essay.
Open with something edgy or funny and then move into your essay.
That's a good suggestion! Thanks!
Any other edits?
It is supposed to be 1-2 paragraphs. It says on common app and also I am applying here.
Nicely written.
The perspectives I would obtain from this experience will facilitate me
I'm excited to see that the University of Chicago encourage students
As someone who firmly believes that schooling should not get in the way of my education, what do you mean by that
great essay. i don't know how you got 2 paragraph.but great job.your paragraph can be longer to explain other points.
help me with mine.ideas, flow,and also i need to cut some part.thinking of d first paragraph
Okay. They give you a prompt. You list out the answer 1,2,3. How many people that applied to Chicago do you think will do that?
*You answer things in present tense. UChicago WILL not UChicago provides bla bla bla.
Answer: Tons.
New question asked by UChicago: What makes you unique? Why does our MAIN goal of expanding the ideas of the future generation make you want to come to UChicago?
My unorthodox method of writing for Chicago EA: For every sentence, I had "I" in front of it. I want to, I hope to, I desire to, I will. I got in.
