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My parents have constantly pushed me to study harder; Rutgers PS -Unique cultural exp


soham1992 1 / -  
Nov 29, 2009   #1
Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences.

As I progress through this journey we call life, I realize certain things matter more than others. My life experiences have greatly changed the value in which I place upon certain things throughout our everyday existence. The fact that the Rutgers community is one of the most ethically and culturally diverse inspires and intrigues me.

I was brought up in a strict family, where I was forced to focus on my studies. My parents have constantly pushed me to study harder, emphasizing the value of a good education. Even though education was a struggle for me, I have accomplished my goals, which has helped me enjoy my successes even more. Success only comes with a great amount of hard work and this hard work has laid a strong foundation in my personality. Furthermore, the Hindu culture has instilled a good value system in me, while shaping my ethics and morals. Throughout my life, I have become more adapt to the American culture, and the exposure to both of these cultures have made me realize how diverse the world actually is and how both these cultures have many similarities. A unique blend of both Hindu and the American cultures make up the person that I am today.

I have learned from my experiences that good leadership and the healthy interaction between the community and its people are both major contributors to the success of society. I have contributed a significant amount of my time to my community, by participating in various voluntary activities. For example, I helped raise community awareness for the Children's Specialized Hospital and Cancer Awareness through my school's Key Club. Also, I have assisted in the construction of a nursery in a church for the Eagle Scout project, learning that with the right amount of leadership and determination, my goals can be accomplished. I do not only want to feel good about myself through these good deeds, but I want to exceed the limits by acting upon a bigger stage such as Rutgers University. Through active participation in many of Rutgers' clubs and programs, I will make a contribution to the environment while furthering myself, as a person.

I come from a family that has placed me in many different cultural situations. These cultures allow me to fit into the vibrant and diverse culture of Rutgers University and be primed to thrive in the University. I believe that I will contribute to the diversity of the campus and will approach every situation enthusiastically. College helps you set your foundation and introduces you to the real world. By achieving a degree from a university like Rutgers will give me a head-start toward reaching my goals and realizing my potentials. I look forward to the challenges I face at Rutgers and hope to enjoy my time there while obtaining a valuable education and developing a rounded personality.

I need help with global as well as local changes. Thank you!!!
TimMill 9 / 63  
Dec 1, 2009   #2
Sorry it took so long to get to your essay, I hope it's not too late! While there's a lot of red ink there, it's a good start. As you correct it, remember the prompt:

Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences.

You talk about your leadership activities and volunteer services, but you forget to talk about how your experience would contribute to Rutgers. You do a better job with the cultural aspect, though. Try to make the essay flow better, too- it's choppy in places. Best of luck!

Tim


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