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'A Paper American' - CU Essay: Background, your educational goals and aspirations


akharper2868 2 / 5  
Nov 15, 2012   #1
So I almost feel like it's a bit off topic. I'm on a boat and have no guidance counselor at the moment. I need help. Really badly...please help me. :(

Here's the essay:

Briefly discuss how your family, school, neighborhood, and background have impacted your educational goals and aspirations.
I'm paper American. This means that my birth certificate says I'm America, and my father says I'm American, but deep down, I'm a Chimerican. No, that's not a word, but it's what I am. I am Chinese, I am American, and I am Puerto Rican. All these mixed cultures make me aspire to work hard and see the world, while making the most of the life and diversity that I've been given.

Coming from a Chinese Singaporean mother and a local Colorado father gave me taste of how great different cultures are. My mother's family is made up of stereotypical corporate climbers; flying from Japan or India every week. My father's is more of the stereotypical American family. My grandpa, grandma, uncle, father, and even my cousins have lived and studied in Boulder, Colorado. Seeing these huge differences in lifestyles, I've learnt to strive for a balance between the international scene and the quite comfort of a permanent address.

While in school in Colorado I envisioned myself somewhere in America with a stable job and possibly a family. After living and going to school in Puerto Rico, my vision has shifted. Regardless of whether I've adopted the Puerto Rican culture, I've now felt the excitement that comes from adapting to it. With so many different cultures and people out there I can't see myself having the life I saw as a child. Maybe when I'm older, but definitely not as someone fresh out of college.

To be honest, I don't know exactly what I want to be, or what I want to do in life. But I do know what I want to achieve. The biggest impact that these different backgrounds have given me is the knowledge that there are so many lifestyles out there. Though I don't know exactly what my aspirations are, I have learned that hard work, academic achievement, and an open mind can help me achieve what I want in life.
Songkong 4 / 8  
Nov 15, 2012   #2
I very much enjoyed your intro.
Elaboration of your family and background would help for better understanding for the reader.
Also, I think that it needs a little more flow from sentence from sentence, instead of quick changes in topics.
OP akharper2868 2 / 5  
Nov 15, 2012   #3
Ahhh now you've just hit a hard topic there. I've been arguing with my mom because she said I was too repetitive. And she was like, "put as much info in there as you can." I've been having issues with that whole flow factor because the limit is 250 word. 250 WORDS! I don't know how they expect us to tell them our whole background in that little space. But I took your advice on the family background thing. This is what I added.

"I'm a paper American. This means that my birth certificate says I'm America, and my father says I'm American, but deep down, I'm a Chimerican. No, that's not a word, but it's what I am. My father was a CU engineer graduate who met my mother in Singapore. They retired early and pulled me out of conventional school to cruise the Caribbean on a boat. After a year, we ended up in Puerto Rico. These mixed cultures and backgrounds make me aspire to work hard and see the world, while making the most of the life and diversity that I've been given. "

however my word count is now at 355 :/
Thanks for your response !


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