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"Order of the Arrow" - Common App Essay: WHAT PLACE ARE YOU MOST CONTENT?


ruffruff999 3 / 5 1  
Aug 25, 2014   #1
Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you? 400-650

I just happen to be an anthropomorphic camp located in Rising Sun Maryland right off of Route One that goes by the name, Camp Horseshoe Scout Reservation. I have been around for little over 100 years and have seen thousands of scouts come and go. There is usually only a few scouts that ever really have a passion for scouting and those are the ones that come back even when they are adults. Its been said when people come to visit they often forget about every thing else going on in the world and feel perfectly content while at Horseshoe.

One thing I love to watch is when scouts come together and make new friends who they would not normally meet. I am pretty well known, so people come from as far as Florida or as close as Maryland. These scouts don't care who you are or where you come from, everyone is just looking to make a friend. The friendships that form between scouts are incredible. Scouts come back to me year after year just to reconnect with the their friends from the summer before. I have seen these relationships last a lifetime as scouts become more like brothers than friends.

Through out the week scouts, despite being friends, compete in cutthroat competition against each other. I host events such as track meets, tug of war, and a timed obstacle course. Scouts become incredibly competitive to see who can win the most competitions by the end of the week. The troops that end up winning are the ones that come together to work as a team and play to each other's strengths. It's amazing that such simple competitions as these can bring together boys who would never have talked to each other if it was not for scouts. The variety of scouts can range from the varsity athlete to a farm boy and despite their differences when they come to visit me, none of that matters.

The growth of these boys in both their stature and character is a sight to be seen year to year. Each year the same boys that continue to come develop more and more into young men. A reoccurring characteristic I see that develops in scouts is their leadership. I offer the scouts an opportunity to grow as leaders. Some people have this narrow minded idea that people are either born leaders or they aren't. Well I have seen first hand scouts who came to camp their first year completely incompetent leave a few years later having developed stronger leadership skills than most adults.

Usually when scouts first come to camp they will take the role as patrol leader and as they mature they become the senior patrol leader of their troop. Past the troop level I host programs such as Order of the Arrow where scouts put their leadership to the test on the County level and some will even go as far as the Section. There are always a few particular scouts who really develop a passion for the Order of the Arrow as it gives them the opportunity to come to camp a few more times through out the year and really give back to an organization that has helped them develop into men.

One day this past summer I over heard two scouts talking on Mermaid's rock just off the Octoraro Bend. These two scouts had just aged out, but were sticking around as adults to help give younger boys the same experience they had enjoyed so much. They talked about how their life truly would not be the same with out scouts and how little old me, a camp in Maryland, has played such an intricate part in their lives. They even went as far to say that I have become like a second home to them.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Aug 25, 2014   #2
I found out that you were speaking as the voice of the camp itself. That does not answer the essay prompt at all. You need to speak in first person about your experience at the camp and why you feel so content being there and what made it unique to be at the camp. Revise the whole paper to describe your experience. Do not speak as the voice of the camp. The camp has nothing to do with the prompt. You are the student, it is your unique experience being asked about. Although relating the story from the point of view of the camp is a nice touch, it fails to deliver the message about you, your experience at the camp, and why that experience made you feel content.

Maybe you can talk about the first day you arrived at the camp. What was the magic that you felt there that day? What kind of electricity enveloped you and the place? That was the day that should have been the most unique for you and perhaps also the day that made you feel the most content since it was your first day there and you did not know anybody yet. How did you come to feel welcomed and at home at the camp? Those are the bits and pieces of information that will best answer the prompt.

I suggest you write another version using the guides I provided you then compare it with your first work. I believe you will find a marked improvement with regards to answering the essay prompt. Good luck!
OP ruffruff999 3 / 5 1  
Aug 25, 2014   #3
I mean im writing it, so it kind of implies the way i feel. I wasn't trying to be an emotionless fuck who writes a standard 5 paragraph essay.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Aug 25, 2014   #4
I realize that you were going for that effect. However, the essay requires a first person narrative. Not a passive voice. It is asking about an active experience. I know that it is not easy to write a standard five paragraph essay and believe me, you were not emotionless. The essay was actually good. Except that it was written in the wrong voice. The experience comes from a personal background. But the way you told it, you were telling us how the camp felt. Not how you felt. So there was a disconnection between how you were expressing the experience and the essay prompt. It is that disconnection that we need to fix to make the essay even better. Good luck :-)
sircampbell 1 / 1 2  
Aug 25, 2014   #5
Before you begin to write, make sure you really understand the requirements.


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