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I was offered an opportunity to study in the USA for one year at the age of fifteen to sixteen


Coco0729 2 / 2  
Nov 26, 2014   #1
Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

After having been constantly taken care of and protected by my family members starting from my childhood, I was offered an opportunity to study in the United States for one year at the age of fifteen to sixteen. It was a brand new life for me because it was the very first time for me to stay in a foreign country where there weren't any familiar context. I learned not only how to solve difficulties by myself but also trained my independence at the age of fifteen. I fully appreciated the valuable opportunity provided by parents that was not very ordinary to many teenagers.

The most challenging tasks for me to face were to speak in English only and interact with classmates from around the world. At the beginning, I was shocked that I have to handle all the situations by myself without any assistance from my family. The only two words I used most frequently were yes and no. Little by little, with the encouragement by new classmates and teachers I learned how to communicate with what I had learned. Finally, I could catch up with school schedules and fit in the dormitory life. For example, once when I recognized that the season had turned from summer to winter I ordered a quilt with cotton wadding because I knew that I had to take care of myself otherwise it might lead to a asthma trouble.

Unfortunately, once I had found out someone had made unauthorized use of my credit card; I panicked because I had lost five hundred dollars. As an underage girl, I went into the bank and reached the counter as soon as possible. I kept insisting and confirming that I hadn't purchased those products. However, it wasn't that successful because the bank teller thought I was just a little girl who was causing a disturbance. I knew that I was capable to solve the difficulties as an underage girl I signed up a meeting with the bank manager and examined each possible detail that could prove I was innocent. Fortunately, the truth had brought into daylight I found out it was a girl who lived next door used my credit card without my permission. As sixteen years old adolescence, I wasn't afraid of solving difficulties by myself although sometimes there might be language barriers.

I was pleased that my mom had offered me an opportunity to study abroad for a year. To me, that year was like a rite of passage because it marked a point when I began taking more responsibility for myself. I had grown up not only externally but also internally. Although sometimes I might mishap and faced impediment I learned from the lesson in order to avoid of happening again. This single experience accumulates my ability of being independent and had positively influenced my future along the way.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 26, 2014   #2
...where there weren't any familiar reference points contexts.

Keep the verb tense the same: At the beginning, I was shocked that I have had to handle...

The only two words I used most frequently were yes and no. --- Great example! I crossed out 'only' because it does not fit with 'most frequently'.

Little by little, with the encouragement by new classmates and teachers I learned how improved my ability to communicate with what I had learned. Finally, I could catch up with school schedules and fit in the dormitory life. For example, once when I recognized that the season had turned from summer to winter I ordered a quilt with cotton wadding because I knew that I had to take care of myself otherwise it might lead to a asthma trouble.

Near the end of the essay you talked about several different things. What is the main idea of this essay? Just becoming more independent? Maybe there is something more to it.. because maybe this experience of personal growth helped you to know what you want to do in college. Explain your main idea in a way that shows the reader why you want to study at this school to which you're applying.

: )
SaritaM 2 / 6  
Nov 26, 2014   #3
"The most challenging tasks for me to face were to speak in English only and interact with classmates from around the world" change were to was and the word "only" after english can be taken out.


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