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'obsessed over Crime TV shows' - Rutgers transfer essay


blove2 1 / -  
Oct 1, 2014   #1
Rutgers essay
Please use the space below to tell us how you believe a Rutgers education will help you achieve your personal enrichment or career goals.

Ever since I was a child, I always knew that I would want to have a career in law enforcement. I obsessed over TV shows like CSI and dreamed of being a police officer, FBI agent, or lawyer. I strongly believe that a bachelor degree in criminal justice at Rutgers University will be a very important step in reaching my goal for a career in law enforcement.

The criminal justice program at Rutgers will prepare me appropriately for my future career. This degree will steer me in the right direction, and give me the necessary opportunities in order to fulfill my life goals. A Rutgers education will teach me the many aspects of criminal justice with relation to crime and the judicial system. My mother works as a correctional officer, and my passion for criminal justice stems from what she does on a daily basis. Law enforcement has always intrigued me in a way that in unexplainable. I am always seeking knowledge about law enforcement and the justice system, and by studying at Rutgers University for a degree in criminal justice, I will learn all that I need to know about the subject, and a lot more.

By attending Rutgers University for a major in criminal justice, I will be given the skills of critical thinking, competence, and scholarship that will ensure me a successful career. A Rutgers education will be a necessary step for the advancement of my future career in criminal justice and for me to fulfill my personal goals in life. And that is; to accomplish my goal to work for the Federal Bureau of Investigation in order to help make this nation a better place not only for my generation, but also for the future generations to come.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Oct 1, 2014   #2
blove, you are looking to become a criminal justice lawyer right? So mentioning shows like CSI, wanting to become a policeman and the like are not exactly the best examples to give in this paper. Rather, I believe that legal based shows such as the Good Wife and others would best represent your interests in criminal justice. Your paper is too generic in feel and content at this moment. You did not truly discuss your personal plans and goals for the future in such a way that you touched on how Rutger would be able to help you achieve these dreams. Does Rutger have an internship program you feel will help you develop into the lawyer (or whatever) you want to become in the future? Exactly how does a Rutger education fit into your plans? What is your current major? What made you decide to shift majors? How did you decide that Rutger would be the best university to transfer to? These are but a few questions that you need to spell out for the admission officer in your transfer essay.

So you need to define you career path at least in an educational sense for this paper to work. What is your end goal? Be specific as to how you expect Rutger to help you get to that point. Don't just say criminal justice. Say something about the training you hope to achieve as you work towards becoming (mention your goal).

I will be given the skills of critical thinking, competence,

- Exactly how do you expect Rutger to help you achieve this? That is why the essay is asking you to explain.

and scholarship that will ensure me a successful career.

- There was nothing in the essay remotely asking about a scholarship. So this is not the place to mention that. Save that information for your scholarship app. This is a transfer app.


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