'observing my grandfather an architect' - University of California

Topic:What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.

Everything began when observing my grandfather an architect, drawing masses in a transparent piece of paper, later known to me as "sketch paper". Since then, I was always receiving observations from the old man, of how to engage with the space, how potentially a human can appreciate their every surrounding. From living architecture to when I was not aware of it, to currently designing spaces in the college's studio, and organizations that help volunteers build shelter for the ones in need. This moments of involvement, have gained me a source of knowledge of the kind that am looking for to execute on the future. The kind of work I will like to do every day of my life, and that is making spaces for our human mind to be free and admire the moment.

good start
you should add stuff like
how did observing your grandfather make you feel

how you pursued your interest in architecture in school

you should work on your conclusive sentence; it's choppy