Nursing School essay: Why do I want to be a nurse?

Hi--I'm applying for a highly competitive nursing program, and one of the application requirements is an essay based on why I want to be a nurse. Could you please give me feedback on whether or not my essay is too general? Do I need more personal experiences in it? Thanks!

The functions of the human body and the effects of the environment, drugs, and genetics on humans never failed to catch my high interest; therefore, I inclined toward a career that included these interests. Yet, at the same time, I strongly desired to make a difference in people's lives. Typically, with the two factors of human anatomy and benevolence, people gravitate toward medicine, a field in which they can also earn an admirable income. When it comes to the healthcare field, most assume that a physician is the ideal way of benefiting society and themselves. However, for me, my interests inspired me to pursue a nursing vocation.

With the current dearth of nurses, each nurse takes responsibility for many patients, reducing the optimal amount time and attention the nurse can administer for each patient. Patients will receive the best care if the nurses are able to pay thorough attention to each and every patient. I wish to alleviate some of that pressure placed on nurses by becoming a nurse myself and provide my best service to each patient. Nurses are the next professionals after doctors that people go to for medical assistance, and as a nurse, I will be able provided numerous opportunities to give that needed help and positively influence individuals' lives everyday, whether it be by giving tips about dietary supplements or home remedies for the flu. In addition, the deficiency of nurses ensures job security, which means that I need not concern myself with losing my job anywhere in the near future. For example, teachers across the country are losing their jobs at a steady rate due to the high numbers of teachers and lack of funding, and as a result, they face the stress of having to search for another job. Being a nurse will assure that I will not need to encounter such stress and, instead, will be able to utilize my focus on the patients.

Also, as a nurse, I will be able to assist others both inside and outside the hospital. Mild emergencies may occur at a dinner party, or a friend may need me to briefly check on her ill mother at home. Nursing bestows me the privilege to apply my medical knowledge in any situation at any time, which, in turn, will continually hone my nursing skills. not all occupations allow workers to apply the knowledge of their field outside of their employment place, such as a medical researcher, who must be at their research labs to apply their expertise and for others to comprehend their "research language."

Having those many chances to make a positive impact on individuals' lives on an everyday basis is one of the great aspects of being a nurse. While helping others, I will also be able to nurture my interest in the medical area and not have to face the perplexity of losing my job. Although many people possess the idea that a doctor is the best profession in healthcare to influence others, I, myself, wish to fulfill my desire to become a nurse.

Hi, I think your statement here is very persuasive to prove that you really desire to become a nurse.

Actually, I have no experience about applying undergraduate program. However, I truly applied some graduate programs. Generally speaking, the graduate school just requires a generally personal statement or statement of objective. But, individual interests and some corresponding experiences are highly recommended to be included in statement. It is for graduate admission, which requires research experience. I am not sure whether it is also available for your situation. If so, maybe you can try to add some statement below the third part of your article, to introduce your performance in first aid training, if any. Anyway, I feel your work here is persuasive enough to demonstrate your desire for this program.

This is an IMHO, good luck! ^@^

Yet, at the same time, I strongly desired to make a difference in people's lives. Typically, with the two factors of human anatomy and benevolence, people gravitate toward medicine, a field in which they ...----- I crossed out the sentence about "at the same time" because the meaningwill still be conveyed without it.

...can also earn an admirable income. When it comes to the healthcare field, Most people assume that becoming a physician is the ideal way of benefiting society and themselves. However, for me, my interests inspired me to pursue a nursing vocation because of the __________ (give the truth that is central to this essay. Is there a word that captures the appeal nirsing has for you?). Then, end paragraph one.

Also, as a nurse, I will be able to assist others both inside and outside the hospital. ---- physicians can, too! Tell us about some of the philosophical ideas... nursing is all about adding energy and lifting spirits. It is distinct, because it serves a distinct purpose.

Then again, a healer is a healer, regardless of whether a physician or a nurse.

:-)

Thanks for the feedback~ I liked the idea of "lifting spirits and adding energy" so I tried to incorporate that into my essay. I did revise the essay a bit because I thought it was a bit repetitive and too general. Is this revision better and more personal?

My aspiration for nursing was sparked early in my high school years, during which I attended a club called Medical Explorers. This particular group exposed adolescents to various fields of healthcare; the nursing area was one of them. The functions of the human body and the effects of the environment, drugs, and genetics on humans never failed to capture my high interest. I also possessed a strong interest in making a difference in people's lives with my caring attitude and compassion-when a patient feels concerned previous to a surgery, I can quell their anxiety with comforting words or when a patient is low in spirits, I can lift his or her mood a cheery chat. Therefore, out of the numerous fields that we discussed and explored at Medical Explorers, I decided that pursuing a career in nursing would fulfill my interests the best.

I researched during my own time to learn more about the vocation, and one of the first aspects of nursing that I learned was that there is a dearth of nurses in the nation's hospitals, which reduces the optimal amount of time and attention the nurse can administer for each patient. Patients are able to receive the best care if the nurses are able to pay thorough attention to each and every patient. So, because of the shortage of nurses, nursing will provide me a plethora of chances to interact with patients in order to offer them my undivided attention and caring assistance. I also came to know that diverse fields exist in nursing-medical surgery, ER, ICU, and others. Upon learning these facts about nursing, my interest peaked because nursing would provide me an array of areas to select from, and yet, no matter what area I chose, I would have plenty of opportunities to fulfill the medical needs of patients.

Additionally, as a nurse, I will be able to assist others both inside and outside the hospital. Nurses are the next professionals after doctors to whom people go to for medical assistance, and as a nurse, I will be able to positively influence individuals' lives everyday and anywhere, whether it be by giving tips about dietary supplements or helping with a mild emergency at a dinner party. Not all occupations allow workers to apply the knowledge of their field outside of their employment place, such as a medical researcher, who must be at their research labs to apply their expertise and for others to comprehend their "research language." Nursing bestows me the privilege to apply my medical knowledge in any situation at any time, which, in turn, will continually hone my nursing skills to serve our society that calls for frequent and quality healthcare.

Hi.


I think you can replace the "or" with an period.


Take my advice, change this word. How about "ample opportunities"?


mmm, I think nurses are not the 'second person' at all. Nurse is a unique occupation, and I think you know it better than I do. Upon reading the paragraph, I think the idea you want to bring across is that "nurses, who are closer to the patients as they are needed to take care of the patients on a daily basis, will be able to fill the void while doctors are all busy attending other patients". This may not be the best way to word it, but I think this is what you are trying to say.

To be honest I like nurses a lot. I think all inspired nurses are wonderful people.

Ok I am weird...

G L~