- Adedapo, I strongly feel that you should revise the essay to make this statement in particular your introductory paragraph. When combined with the contents of the following paragraph;
Being a Nigerian born in England and raised in the Netherlands..
, you will be able to create the important and interesting hook that your essay needs to keep the admission officer interested in your application.After having successfully explained why you used to take something for granted, you can now go back to your past to explain the basis of this confusion and sense of outcast that you used to feel. Start with;
Since I was young I have experienced identity crises as I never felt Nigerian...
and then follow it up with this conclusion;
Now I realize there are many people who like me have struggled with their identities due to the fact that they grew up around several different cultures....
The portion about how you came to end up in the Netherlands because of your father's work is a bit redundant is often presented in a similar manner by other students in their essays. In order to stand out, you need to make your essay more informative without being dramatic. I feel that by structuring the essay this way, you will be able to immediately catch the attention of the admissions officer and offer a clear understanding of how you felt and why. So you should just quickly mention that you moved to The Netherlands for your father's work and that is where your experience of confusion as an outcast began.