Any comments or suggestions or critiques very welcome! I will return the favor (:
Why are you drawn to the area(s) of study you indicated? 300 characters
I want to be a part of the journey through the complex networks of neurons that catalyze our actions and engineer our thoughts. I yearn to explore the realms of memory and emotion, to study mutations in the brain, and in future, to integrate my studies into the medical field and utilize my knowledge to help others.
A distinctive feature of the Brown Curriculum is the opportunity to be the "architect of your education."Why does this academic environment appeal to you?
The freedom to construct my education will allow me to embrace a variety of interests that satisfy my insatiable thirst for learning on both intellectual and personal levels. While I could immerse myself in classes on the brain's cognitive functions, I could also enjoy debating Machiavelli's views on humanity or pursue my interests in piano. Brown's curriculum provides the privileges and independence I need to flourish: I could become engrossed in my major, yet still be at liberty to become fluent in French or lost in Aristotle and Sophocles' worlds of philosophy. By handing me the reins of my own education, Brown will motivate me to challenge myself and take responsibility for my future.
Not sure about the word/character limit on the second prompt, but fantastic, well-worded answers! Great job!
I yearn to explore the realms of memory and emotion, to study mutations in the brain, and in the future, to integrate my studies into the medical field and utilize my knowledge to help others.
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The freedom to construct my education will allow me to embrace a variety of interests that satisfy my insatiable thirst for learning, on both intellectual and personal levels.
You're an excellent writer! They'll be lucky to have you as a student!
:)
Lacey
Very good for the first prompt, it sounds so intellectual yet clearly relates exactly why you are drawn to that area.
The second prompt is also very well written. But I worry that it is a tad generic - but I don't know what other alternative you have. Maybe you could be more personal: name specific areas of study you like instead of just listing stuff you can do. For example: "With my love for the French, being able to learn the language and also its history while pursuing my major, absolutely titillates me." Or something to that extent. (I don't know if you get what I mean here but..)
Hope this helps! Please check out my revised common app. essay. Thanks!
Honestly, they were very good -- your words paint strong images of yourself. the only suggestion I would offer is that you could throw in a specific aspect of Brown in your first response that you would like to participate in. However, that's very optional because it could somewhat make the candid flow a little bumpy.
woah on the first one, thats a good thing
for the second one i suggest you put more specifics towards brown. i had this philosophy when i applied to colleges, if you can put a different college name into your essay in a specific "why this college" essay and it still makes sense, then you should probably add more specific things that "this college" has to offer. So for the second one, if you can, if there is enough room, i suggest you add a sentence or two dedicated to what brown has to offer. either way i still think the second essay is pretty good
Okay thank you all so much for your suggestions! (:
Hi, I can try to help. Brown is a great school to aspire to (plus it is in my home state of RI). What you have written so far under the first question is excellent. Expand on these concepts, with your word limitations.
For the second essay:
Brown's curriculum provides the privileges and independence I need to flourish: I could become engrossed in my major, yet still be at liberty to become fluent in French or lost in Aristotle and Sophocles' worlds of philosophy. Say "I will become engrossed in my major."
This sentence is a bit too long, does the curriculum provide independence? Or is there a better way to say this? I would add this: the college want to hear about your plan. Emphasize the fact that you are a person with a plan. Link the college skills you will obtain to your future plans. Talk about your short term goals as well. You are off to a great start, good luck in school!
One more thing that I forgot to mention. Explore the city of Providence online, if you are not from the area. Living in Rhode Island is very culturally stimulating, there are many museums, libraries, attractions, and events, all within walking distance of the school. The city of providence has all kinds of people, and has fantastic restaurants, shopping, and nightlife. Most students in the city seem very comfortable, and the location of the campus very close to everything you could possibly need. My uncle graduated from Brown, he says it is hard to get in, but once you attend, it can be a breeze (prob because the classes and environment are so enjoyable). :)
i love your first ans. It's very well written especially considering the character limit.
As for your second ques, maybe you can make it a tad more personal? I see a lot of you in the first part, maybe you can try to connect 'you' with Brown. But overall, I think it's very good. and again, love your first ans.
PS: Thanks for checking out mine :)
Good answers (: I can see you have passion. However, don't be afraid to expand on those ideas and provide more insights and personal experiences and motivation behind your acts of doing these things.
I love the first response( shows creativity).
The second one is also good but not excellent. I like the fact that you talked about brown curriculum and how it fits you but you need specifics. there are lots of liberal art schools where you can take a major and still pursue other areas of interest. Research on something distinct about brown curriculum.
Overall good response and all the best :)
