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Essay about myself, what is unique about me and what made who I am (ideas)


answers: 19
Jan 27, 2008, 04:15am   #1
I am trying to write an essay to describe what is unique about me and what made me who am I today. But the fact is, I am very weak in my vocabulary and grammar. Can anyone help me please?

Greetings!

The important thing is to just start writing! You might want to start by making a list of your unique qualities, and some events in your life that you feel have formed you into the person you are now. Once you have a list in front of you, the task of beginning writing won't seem so daunting. Don't worry about vocabulary and grammar at this point; just think of it as a rough draft. Then you can post your draft here and we'll be happy to help you with "tweaking" it into a polished version.

I'll look forward to reading it!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Jan 28, 2008, 08:57am   #3
ok, i will try to write something. But my essay won't be as good as the people who post here. Theirs are very great compare to mine. Give me some time to write, then I will post up for you to correct. Thank you very much for your advise. Your correction and suggestion help me a lot. Thank you very much.
You're welcome! And please do not worry about others' essays being "better"; we have students at all levels who post here. The important thing is to learn from our mistakes--and we ALL make mistakes! :-)

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Jan 29, 2008, 04:34am   #5
Please help me to correct in anyway you can. I will be very grateful if you correct and make my essay better. Thank you very much !!!
Greetings!

I'm happy to help with some editing--you have a great start here!

It took nineteen years to create who I am today. Within these years, I have been given the freedom to explore the world in order to satisfy my curiosity toward all the strange and wonderful things in the world around me.

I grew up in a healthy family. I had an elder sister and a younger brother and this made my childhood days more colorful. My parents both had stable careers and this provided us with more opportunities to learn what we desired to. I remember when I was a young boy; my parents bought us a piano. I have been exploring music ever since my sister started taking piano lessons. This affected me so much that I insisted to my parents that I also wanted to learn piano. So I started my musical journey and continue it to this day. I finally completed my grade eight piano with a merit. After all the hardship I went through, success was finally shown in my result.

I did not end my music after I went to secondary school. There, I joined the Chinese Orchestra Society. My purpose in joining this society was to learn more about my own traditional culture's music. I took a position in strings and my musical instrument is named "erhu". It is a traditional Chinese musical instrument similar to the violin. Instead of having 4 strings, an erhu only has two strings which can also produce beautiful musical notes as a violin does. I absolutely love the erhu and I have discovered that with the my background in piano, I am learning with tremendous speed. My teacher said that I am bestowed with talent and asked me to keep up the good work. My diligence paid off as I was upgraded from being a member of the orchestra to a concert master. I am very proud that I am able to take up the responsibility for the orchestra. This also proved that I can lead.

Besides having flying colors in my activity, I also do well in my studies. I applied for science stream in my secondary school and I am now pursuing a degree for electrical and electronic engineering under the American transfer program. After I complete my degree, I will have the opportunity to obtain a stable and challenging career.
I know that the road ahead will not be easy for me, but I cannot stop here. I need to move on in order to reach my goals. My success in the future lies in my own hands.

Although it may appear that I made a lot of corrections, some of the changes I made are really just optional ones, to make the writing show off your accomplishments to best advantage.

Best of luck in your studies!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Jan 30, 2008, 04:30am   #7
Thank you so much. You are fantastic. So can you please give me more comment on my essay? Such as I can still add in anything to make my essay longer?
Greetings!

Well, thank you! I'll see if I can find some ways to stretch it.

Between these two sentences, you could add detail: I have been exploring music ever since my sister started taking piano lessons. [maybe relate an incident when you were listening to your sister play, and were carried away by the beautiful sounds?] This affected me so much that I insisted to my parents that I also wanted to learn piano.

Since many people are unfamiliar with the erhu, you could describe it in more detail, and particularly how it differs from the Western stringed instruments. How is it tuned? Can you play intricate melodies with just two strings? Is it higher pitched or lower than a violin? Are there such things as erhu solos, or is it just an accompanying instrument?

You could also talk more about your interest in electrical and electronic engineering. How did you become interested in this field? What do you hope to do with your degree (besides just having a "challenging career")?

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Feb 6, 2008, 02:43am   #9
thank you very much about the information you gave me, I will add in more points that u suggest. After I done the editting , I will post my essay here again for your correction.
Feb 7, 2008, 07:32am   #11
It took nineteen years to create who I am today. Within these years, I have been given the freedom to explore the world in order to satisfy my curiosity toward all the strange and wonderful things in the world around me.

I grew up in a healthy family. I had an elder sister and a younger brother and this made my childhood days more colorful. My parents both had stable careers and this provided us with more opportunities to learn what we desired to. I remember when I was a young boy; my parents bought us a piano. I have been exploring music ever since my sister started taking piano lessons. I remembered that I were often been fascinated by the sound of the piano whenever my sister is playing the piano. I will be easily carried away by the melodies of the piano. This affected me so much that I insisted to my parents that I also wanted to learn piano. So I started my musical journey and continue it to this day. I finally completed my grade eight piano with a merit. After all the hardship I went through, success was finally shown in my result. Within these years of learning, I can either vent my anger or express my happiness through the key on the piano.

I did not end my music after I went to secondary school. There, I joined the Chinese Orchestra Society. My purpose of joining this society was to learn more about my own traditional culture's music. I took a position in strings and my musical instrument is named "erhu". It is a traditional Chinese musical instrument similar to violin. Instead of having 4 strings, an erhu only has two strings which can also produce beautiful musical notes as a violin does. It is slightly lower pitched than violin and it has two wooden knobs for tuning by turning either clockwise or counter-clockwise. I absolutely love the erhu and I have discovered that with the background in piano, I am learning with tremendous speed. My teacher said that I am bestowed with talent and asked me to keep up the good work. My diligence paid off as I was upgraded from being a member of the orchestra to a concert master. I am very proud that I am able to take up the responsibility for the orchestra. This also proved that I have leadership quality.

Besides having flying colors in my activity, I also do well in my studies. I applied for science stream in my secondary school and I am now pursuing a degree for electrical and electronic engineering under the American transfer program. I am often interested in how the computer functions. It is the curiosity that triggered my ambition of taking this course. After I complete my degree, I will have the opportunity to obtain a stable and challenging career.
I know that the road ahead will not be easy for me, but I cannot stop here. I need to move on in order to reach my goals. My success in the future lies in my own hands.
Greetings!

I think you've done a great job of improving your essay! Here are some further suggestions:

I remember that I was often fascinated by the sound of the piano whenever my sister was playing. I was easily carried away by the melodies of the piano.

Within these years of learning, I could either vent my anger or express my happiness through the keys on the piano.

I am very interested in how the computer functions. It is this curiosity that triggered my ambition to take this course.

Best of luck in your studies!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Greetings!

Fortunately, you know the subject matter better than anyone on Earth! :-) Think about the things that make you who you are. Are you shy? Outgoing? Sporty? Bookish? What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Why? What games do you like to play? What makes you good at them? What's your favorite subject in school? When did you first know that you liked it? Do you plan to use it in a career?

If you have trouble getting started, try making a list of all your favorite things, then another list of things you dislike. Then, think about why you like/dislike them, and start writing about that. You can always add an introduction afterward.

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Feb 10, 2008, 09:58am   #15
Thank you very much. Now I am writing another essay too. However, this essay is very weird. This is the first time I encountered with this essay, please give me some suggestions to write something about it. The title is below :


If you are given 24 hours to lead a country, which country will you choose and why do you choose this country. What are you going to do to improve this country?
Greetings!

Oh, my, that's an interesting question! My first thought is, you will have to choose a country with which you are a little familiar. Otherwise, you won't have any idea what its problems are, and how to improve them. Perhaps there is a country (besides your own) which you have heard about on the news as having some serious problems? I know that Myanmar and Pakistan have both had some internal strife lately that's been the subject of many news stories. And most people have some sort of opinion about the United States, good or bad!

Another option would be to use humor in your essay (unless your instructor has said not to, or would not like it). I'm thinking of something satirical, like saying that the U.S. could be greatly improved by exporting all its politicians to Antarctica, and giving away its wealth to people who would appreciate it more. ;-)

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Feb 11, 2008, 08:21pm   #17
it definitely helps me a lot. But can't I choose my own country to write? As I am much more familiar with my country (Malaysia).
Greetings!

Absolutely, if your instructor did not specifically tell you not to use your own country, that would be the logical choice! I was just assuming that he or she had told you not to use your own country on the grounds that it might be too easy. But really, the question will be challenging enough even using the one you are most familiar with, because you are going to have to put a lot of thought into how to improve the country. After all, the professional politicians haven't solved all the problems (in any country!).

Best of luck in your studies.

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Feb 16, 2008, 11:05am   #19
If I could become the leader of any country in the world, I would definitely choose my own country which is Malaysia.
This is the country where I was born. I had lived on this mother land for nineteen years and for sure, I knew more than anything else compared with others countries. Although it is not as strong as America, but I believed that Malaysia is now developing and it will gradually became a well developed country.
Every country has it own problems. Such as, Africa is facing poverty, Indonesia is dealing with riot. Malaysia also had its own problem, but not so severe compared with Africa and Indonesia. I would introduce that Malaysia is a multi-racial country consist of Chinese, Indian, Malay and others native tribes. As everyone will be curious, how are we going to live in peace and harmony with so many races and each races have it own culture and tradition? This is the fact that actually amazed many countries leaders.
To live together without much trouble, the leaders must be fair to all races. For Malaysia, the Malays leaders had been unfair to Chinese, Indians and others races, as they give priority to the Malays. For example, Malays are given priority and discount in buying landed properties, however, for others races, we had no priority and discount. If I am the leader, I would firstly eliminate this unfair situation and treat every race fair and square. It is very important for a leader to be fair to everyone. Leader needs to lead the people and helps improved the country.
Secondly, if I was empowered to lead the country, I would ensure that every child has the opportunity to receive education. I would also provide scholarship for students who have flying colors in their result and activity. In my own opinion, education is one important aspect in our life. We will have much more confident in doing things when we have knowledge. In addition, a well educated person is able to know what is right and what is wrong to do. However in reality, I observed that many parents with low income family in Malaysia often don't emphasize on education very much. Instead of pursuing higher degree of education after secondary school, they prefer their children to work in the society. Without knowledge and experience, their children usually end up getting cheated.
Lastly, I think it is a problem that everyone in this world is facing that is global warming. It is an inconvenient truth that our earth is sick. I would strongly initiate campaigns to help to save the world. We are living on this earth and yet we are destroying our own earth. So I would call attention to everyone in my country to do everything that can reduce global warming such as, reduce, reuse, and recycle. Reduce using heat and air conditioning. Use thing that is reusable and recycle things that is recyclable. This can actually helps very much in reducing global warming.




For the ending, I really can't think of anything good for it. So can you give me some good suggestion for my ending please? And feel free to correct my mistake. If possible, give me as much suggestion as you can. I will very happy to hear ur advise. Thank you very much!!!!
Greetings!

I'm happy to help with some editing suggestions!

If I could become the leader of any country in the world, I would definitely choose my own country, which is Malaysia.
This is the country where I was born. I had lived on this mother land for nineteen years and for sure, I knew more than anything else compared with others countries. Although it is not as strong as America, but I believed that Malaysia is now developing and it will gradually became a well developed country. - I'm not sure why you are writing this part in the past tense. If you still live there, use the present tense: "I know more about this country than others' countries."

Every country has its own problems. For example, Africa is facing poverty, Indonesia is dealing with riots. Malaysia also has its own problems, but not so severe compared with Africa and Indonesia. Malaysia is a multi-racial country consisting of Chinese, Indian, Malay and other native tribes. As everyone will be curious, how are we going to live in peace and harmony with so many races and each races have it own culture and tradition? This is the fact that actually amazed many countries leaders.
- Here, you are mixing in future tense! Everyone will be curious when? Just stick to the present: People are curious about how we live in peace and harmony..."

For example, Malays are given priority and discount in buying landed properties, however, other races do not receive priority and discounts.

Leaders need to lead the people and help improve the country.

every child has the opportunity to receive an education. I would also provide scholarships for students

We have much more confidence in doing things when we have knowledge.

However in reality, I have observed that many parents with low income families in Malaysia often do not emphasize education very much. Instead of pursuing higher education after secondary school, they prefer their children to work in society.

Lastly, I think a problem that everyone in this world is facing is global warming. It is "an inconvenient truth," as Al Gore says, that our earth is sick. I would strongly initiate campaigns to help to save the world. We are living on this earth and yet we are destroying our own earth. So I would call attention to everyone in my country to do everything they can to reduce global warming, such as reduce, reuse, and recycle. Reduce using heat and air conditioning. Use things that are reusable and recycle things that are recyclable. This can actually help very much in reducing global warming.

For your conclusion, you should summarize; something like this, perhaps:
Although there are many countries in the world that need help, I feel I could most benefit my own country of Malaysia. By treating people of all ethnic backgrounds the same, promoting education to the youth of Malaysia, and helping our country to contribute to the reduction of global warming, I feel I could make a positive contribution. I hope I have the opportunity to make these changes a reality some day.

Good work!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com



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