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my mother - Some who has made an impact on my life


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Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

When I think of the person who has made the most impact on my life, the person that comes to mind is no other than my mother. Other than the obvious answer of giving me life, she has given me so much more than that. She has given me a home filled with love, support, and understanding. She is a single mother, who never let that fact stop me from having a good life. Although she is not the wealthiest person in the world, she has qualities that are worth so much more than riches.
I was very young when my parents were divorced. Although my father was still around, his diminishing appearance in my life became increasingly apparent. It was my mother who picked up where he left off. She came to all of my soccer games, all of my school plays, and all of my recitals. She was there for the big parts of my life, but more importantly, the small parts.


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Any criticism is greatly appreciated

Jan 17, 2010, 10:37pm   #
So beautifully honest. I really liked it.

I would just end with a stronger closing sentence, though that may just be me.
Jan 17, 2010, 11:24pm   #
When I think of someone who has made the most impact on my life, the person that comes to mind is (get rid of "no other than") my mother. Other than (delete the obvious answer of )giving me life, she has provided me withso much more (delete than that). She has given me a home filled with love, support, and understanding. She is a single mother who fought her hardest to give me a good life. Although she is not the wealthiest person in the world, she has qualities that are worth (delete so) much more than riches.
I was very young when my parents (delete were) divorced. Although my father was still around, his diminishing appearance in my life became increasingly apparent (I would change "his diminishing appearance in my life became increasingly apparent" to "his visits became shorter and less often as my age increased". It was my mother who picked up where he left off. She came to all of my soccer games, (delete all of my) school plays, and (delete all of my) recitals. She was there for the big parts of my life, but more importantly, the small parts. Maybe add a more powerful thought that explains your last sentence, such as, "She was there every day, no matter what."



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