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'My Mom' - TX University Admissions Essay - Most Impactful Person


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To define the most impactful person or force in my life I initially imagined would be quite a task, since there are so many people that have had a hand in my raising. However, after a few minutes of consideration and actually digging deeper into the meaning of 'impact in my life', I have come to the conclusion that the force must be my Mom; and she is a force to be reckoned with for sure.

My mom is not educated beyond High School, but she's incredibly smart; my Mom has never played football, but can pick out every play from the highest stadium perch, my Mom has never jumped 14' in pole vaulting, but can coach every jump, my Mom is not a psychic, but I swear, she knows it all.

When I'm down or even if something is just on my mind, she knows before I can utter a single word. I believe it to be that thing she's always warned me about, '...eyes in the back of her head...', '...she's been there and done that...', '...she can read me like a book...' and I'm sure you know the rest. How does she do it?

From walking me sternly to my room when I had misbehaved or the first one in line to give me a kiss and a hug for a job well done, she has always been there for me. Encouraging me and helping me through the thick and the thin, the good times and well, the not so good, for better or for worse, she was there.

I personally believe that I wouldn't be able to do some of the things I do now without her help, positive attitude, humor and guidance. My mom is a very hard worker at both of her jobs; at home...and at her paying job! She always says 'I know you can do it', so it must be true. She believes in me more than I believe in myself some of the time and therefore inspires me to be a better person, a better son and a more dedicated student athlete every day.

I cannot imagine any other mom being more loving or more caring than her. I know for a fact that she will be the reason I not only make it to college, but one of the top reasons, forces, to graduate from college and strive forward in life to keep pushing myself to my maximum potential and be successful in the future.

Kudos to her that I am a very determined individual when it comes to achieving my goals, but without her by my side and helping me as she has so consistently done all these years, I'm certain I would be less successful and it would definitely not be as fun. I couldn't imagine not having my mom there with me and just making sure I had a positive attitude and a good mind set. My mom is important to me because everything I do involves her. I know she is the one who has made me who I am today and I am and forever will be, more successful for it.

To define the most impactful person or force in my life I initially imagined would be quite a task, since there are so many people that have had a hand in my raising.
You could say it this way:
" I initially imagined that it would be quite a task to define the person or force that made the most impact on my life."

However, after a few minutes of consideration and actually digging deeper into the meaning of 'impact in my life', I have come to the conclusion that the force must be my Mom; and she is a force to be reckoned with for sure.
This sentence is far too long, you should split into two or three shorter sentences.

Also you have a few very short paragraphs (one or two sentences) The format of your essay would look more attractive if you would consolidate them like this:

My mom is not educated beyond High School, but she's incredibly smart; my Mom has never played football, but can pick out every play from the highest stadium perch, my Mom has never jumped 14' in pole vaulting, but can coach every jump, my Mom is not a psychic, but I swear, she knows it all. When I'm down or even if something is just on my mind, she knows before I can utter a single word. I believe it to be that thing she's always warned me about, '...eyes in the back of her head...', '...she's been there and done that...', '...she can read me like a book...' and I'm sure you know the rest. How does she do it? From walking me sternly to my room when I had misbehaved or the first one in line to give me a kiss and a hug for a job well done, she has always been there for me. Encouraging me and helping me through the thick and the thin, the good times and well, the not so good, for better or for worse, she was there.

I personally believe that I wouldn't be able to do some of the things I do now without her help, positive attitude, humor and guidance. My mom is a very hard worker at both of her jobs; at home...and at her paying job! She always says 'I know you can do it', so it must be true. She believes in me more than I believe in myself some of the time and therefore inspires me to be a better person, a better son and a more dedicated student athlete every day. I cannot imagine any other mom being more loving or more caring than her. I know for a fact that she will be the reason I not only make it to college, but one of the top reasons, forces, to graduate from college and strive forward in life to keep pushing myself to my maximum potential and be successful in the future.


Your mother must be so proud of you! You have written a nice tribute to her, and it shows how your family values formed the person you are. Good luck in school :)
Jennyflower81 - your thoughts here on paragraph 1 - added a few short sentences to as advised.


I initially imagined that it would be quite a task to define the person or force that made the most impact on my life. So I set some time aside to ponder this most curious question. It was only a few short minutes into this self-reflecting exercise before I came to a conclusion. The force most definitely is my Mom; and she is a force to be reckoned with for sure.
Great, i am glad my suggestions helped you! i like what you wrote, and I had some ideas on improving it. Try and say it like this:

So I set aside some time to ponder this remarkable question. Only a few short minutes into this self-reflecting exercise, I came to a conclusion. The guiding force is most definitely my Mom; and she is surely a force to be reckoned with!

I hope this helps :) I'm sure any college would be happy to have you as a student, good luck in school!



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