My mom has had a huge impact on my life; Someone who had impact on me

Hello! :)
The topic to this essay is: Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

I chose to write about my mom, and this is what i have so far:

As a child I grew up with only my mother in my life. Throughout the years, I have learned that there are many difficulties that come with being a single parent, especially one that has moved from a different country and is struggling with a language barrier. Until this day I have yet to figure out how my mother was able to keep everything in place in other to provide me with everyday necessities. My mom has had a huge impact on my life; she has opened up a world of inspiration, determination, motivation, and love for me. She has shown me that anything is possible if you just work at it.

My mother was born in a little run-down town in Mexico, until she found out that she was pregnant with me. With me being her first child she wanted to make sure she did everything she could do to provide me with a better childhood than the one she had to live through. She moved to the United States on her own at the age of twenty.

Any suggestions on how i can make my essay better?

Hi, this is a good essay; your mom sounds like a wonderful person.
My comments are in bold.


This is a bit redundant, as a cild i grew up > well, you can't grow up as an adult > know what i mean? Anyways your essay would sound much stronger if you simply cut out the as a child part. and instead just "i grew up with only my mother in my life."

one that has moved from a different country and is struggling with a language as a barrier.

It may seem obvious to you, but elaborate why it is harder.


This doesn't sound grammatical.. perhaps... "As i was her first child"


This is an excellent point where perhaps you can add how her not complaining in such a situation has persevered you to abstain fro complaining and so forth, you get what i mean...

Overall good essay, make the above adjustments, read again and edit.

Post 2nd draft so when we critique again:)

Good luck:))