Michigan State University, volunteering, significant experience, Volunteers of America, life lesson

Helping someone in need is such an amazing and fulfilling experience. Knowing that you can change someone's life just by simply giving them some food or other necessities to get them through the day is such a special feeling. Luckily, I had the opportunity last year to volunteer at a soup kitchen a couple of times with other students from a school organization called STARS Club, which stands for students taking a right stand. STARS Club focuses on doing volunteering activities around the community to help out those in need, or just doing some work outdoors to help the environment. We focus on making our community a better place for everyone. The soup kitchen at Volunteers of America was a life changing event for me. Before I volunteered at the soup kitchen, I never realized that there are people in our community that can't provide for themselves and their families. We served food to different people. Some people were older, and some people were young parents with small children. What shocked me the most was seeing little kids at Volunteers of America. Going into the volunteer work, I didn't realize that there are kids my age that aren't fortunate enough to have a family that can support them. The amount of thanks I got from everyone just by giving them dinner was astounding to me. It was eye-opening to see how thankful and appreciative everyone was. Participating in soup kitchens taught me valuable lessons. They taught me that there will always be someone out there who can't provide for themselves and that no matter what, they will be thankful for anything that you give them, whether it's food, clothing, or other toiletries. Helping out others less fortunate has become a hobby of mine that fills me with a feeling that I can't describe.

Hey Danielle,
I like your essay, but it needs a little bit of work.
In your second sentence instead of saying that it is a special feeling, describe that feeling more passionately.
When you talk about the types of different people that receive food from the soup kitchen try to be a little more descriptive on how they were acting, specially little kids.

When you said that you are now conscious of how kids your age aren't as privileged as you, try to describe more how that feels, how with experiences like this you learn to value your family and what you have.

I think that's just it, the rest is really good in my opinion.

Hope it helps you out :)