Tell us something about yourself that we would not find on your resumé. (Not to exceed 500 words)
Some of my most intense learning periods in life have been that of failure. Failure is something that I have learnt how to handle, and most importantly overcome. One of the major failures I've had to overcome is the second year of my Undergraduate degree.
Having just arrived back from the USA, I was excited with the prospect of learning even more in my higher education. I had taken up courses such as Advanced Placement Biology, Organic Chemistry and Pre- Calculus as subjects. For example, In Biology, we studied 3 generations of fruit flies and marked out the genetic traits that were passed from parents to children. Not only did we come up conclusive results, our findings mirrored that of the scientific community. We had even isolated the DNA of an onion. Being exposed to experiments such as these made learning a joy. Learning Hands on made everything seem so simple and uncomplicated.
Now back in India, the competition had increased ten- fold as compared to the USA, and I had not realized it. Understanding concepts just wasn't good enough. It was down to who could memorize the most and reproduce it on the paper. Turning in assignments and participating well in class gave you no points. It was all or none in the examination. Having forgotten what it was like when I left school, I did poorly in my 11th and 12th grades. The lack of practical experimentation did me no favors. I continued studying in the same way in my first year of engineering. I was devastated by the results. I had to make up for some of my first year courses in the second year, and that's when it hit me. I wasn't delivering or getting results. I was learning, yes, but getting results, No. This was the time I had to start cramming for my exams. It wasn't easy to change. By the end of my second year, I was almost making up for 2 semesters worth of exams. This was the proverbial do or die moment for me. I don't remember much about what I did differently; it all just seemed like a blur. I even attempted the last two exams in spite of running a high fever.
After the completion of the exams, there was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. The results really didn't matter at that point. The fact that they were over was a huge burden lifted off of me. Ironically I didn't anticipate the results. After resting for what seemed like eternity, I started analyzing the reasons as to why I didn't do well earlier. Even though I was one of the better students in school, the American way of studying had shown me that studying could really be fun. The mistake I made was that I expected it to be the same when I got back to India. At least I now know that in spite of adverse conditions, I can still put in efforts and come out on top.
and btw I did pass my final year with a first class, after this whole fiasco above.
I am not looking for grammatical corrections or anything like that. Would appreciate if I could get feedback, whether the topic is something and Admissions commitee might be interested in hearing about. If not then I'm going to re do this whole essay from scratch.
Also let me know if i could twist this in another way like, focusing more on the "lack of hands on experience, rather than the learning methodologies."
Let me know if I sound like i'm finding an excuse, because that's not what i want to do.
Don't change your theme, work it further - I find your comparison theory quite interesting and I'm sure you can expand upon it while providing interesting facts.
Delve into your meaning that American education is fun, but what is being lost? What is India's advantage - disadvantage, by focusing upon memory rather that alternate learning strategies.
Funnel your point comparing America's student ability to focus for less time than its Eastern rivals (Americans are now of able to focus for under five minute straight). Its called digital distraction.
Some of my most intense learning periods in life have been thatthose of failure. Failure is something that I have learnt how to handle, and most importantly overcome.I did'nt like Failure is something that One of the major failures I've had to overcome is the second year of my Undergraduate degree.
After the completion of the exams, there was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. The results really didn't really matter at that point. The fact that they were over was a huge burden lifted off of me.repetition you said that already
the American way of studying had shown me that studyinglearning ( to avoid repetition ) could really be fun.
At least I now I know that in spite of
Well , I found those mistakes and I wanted to mention them ; maybe it can help you . In my opinion , it' s a very good essay and the topic is interesting ; For me , It doesn't sound like an excuse but it shows that you are motivated !
Please can you help me with mine ?
Thank you Marwa and Perry for your feedback!!
for other people who do wish to comment, please note that this essay is for a grduate MBA program and not an undergraduate program . I guess ti's kind of evident once you read, it, but i posted it in the wrong group!!!
I think you're in the right direction. The topic could be great. I agree with the first comment. I think you need to expand more on the differences in studying in each country. If you put into more of what you have come away with throughout the experience instead of an explanation as to why your grades slipped and then rose again I think it will make it more of a lesson-learned type of thing. Your experience is very unique and I think you'll benefit from that. Leave out your sweat and fever sentences toward the end. Focus more on how the abrupt changes in each educational environment has made you more versatile and has taught you to be able to study and look at things through multiple standpoints. People want to know that failure because of these international differences in learning is something that you faced head on and are now better off and can appreciate the struggles bc they made you more confident and you now have an upper hand in learning for being exposed to both styles.
