what matters to me and why: creating change through writing

Please let me know if it's too unclear for the prompt or if it's too cliche. Thanks

Through my community service experiences, I've seen the faces of people that have unexpectedly lost their jobs, people who are riddled with disease rendering them useless in the eyes of society, people who have been the victims of violence and heartbreak. Feeling powerless to the suffering in the world, I retreat to the comfort of my notebook and create worlds where people don't die because they couldn't afford medicine, where planes don't crash into towers, and women aren't abused by their husbands.

I cannot control what happens in the world, but I control the words that flow from my ideas and emotions onto the paper. My creativity shines through my writing as I vary sentence structure and word choice, making each sentence as unique as the people who read them. I write to share the stories of those that have risen from their troubled past and reinvented their life. I write so that my words escape the confines of paper and reach into the minds of others. Writing allows me to build a connection that knows no boundaries and can reach across the world. I share my writing so that one day when I pick up the newspaper I'll read about progress and survival and people will focus on the promise of a better future rather than the mistakes of the past. Writing matters to me because it holds the key to sharing knowledge, dreams, and ideas that will change the world.

I can connect to the topic you chose to write about. I like to write (but not do it good in English) and I am applying for Stanford too (this is for Stanford, right?).This are just some things I found:


. I can't say I like this expression. I think it's really purple prose, or something. I don't know exactly. Maybe I just don't understand what you mean.


I think that confine it's just a verb, and can't be used as a noun. No sure, though.

Thanks. I'm pretty sure confines can be used as a noun. Does the essay flow well to you or does it seem unorganized?

I think the flow is pretty ok, but I would recommend you to revise "My creativity shines through my writing as I vary sentence structure and word choice". I don't think you should put "my creativity" in, since the board would notice it without saying. Try to be humble and natural :)

Help with mine 6AM Bus Ride - common app essay option 4 ( time rush)