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I am many things and Black is one of them - Personal Statement for UT Austin; Essay A


texasbreed13 3 / 13 2  
Sep 23, 2014   #1
Hello, I'm looking to apply to UT Austin and would like some feedback about my personal statement. Personal statements kind of confuse me so I'd really appreciate the help. Thanks!

I' am many things and Black is one of them; however, " Being colored is a metaphysical dilemma I haven't conquered yet." When I was growing up I felt indifferent towards my race. To me having the same colored skin as a Hershey's bar just meant that in God's coloring book he choose a different shade for me. But being black at a predominately white school meant getting teased and bullied. To white people I wasn't white enough and to the Black people I wasn't black enough. For years I've felt stuck in the middle of a racial limbo. Therefore, I grew up without an understanding of how to just be me. I was constantly trying to fit into one group or the other yet I wanted so badly to not be labeled or succumb to conformity. Coming to a place where I can finally except that I'm Black and need to embrace my identity instead of deny it was a hard toll that took some self-confidence and self-discovery. Thus, in my ongoing adolescences I've discovered that I want to be "black not blackish". I want to understand my past and my present. Even though my race doesn't define me, it is apart of me. That is why I've chosen to pursue studying African and African Diaspora Studies. So far I've known little beyond the exterior about what it means to be who I am. But as I grow more into the person I want to be, I feel it is essential to understand where I've come from and what it is that has brought me here now.

"You never know where you're going until you know where you've been". These words that my grandmother spoke come to mind when I think of why I want to study African and African Diaspora Studies and more importantly why I think it is an important topic to study. It is an imperative to embrace and embody the different cultures that expand across this country and across this world. In my high school I grew up around a mixture of people. However, few looked like me, but I still discovered an interest in those that did. Living in the diverse community taught me the importance that culture holds and the prevalence it has in our world today. What impact do/have we played in history? What shapes us? Where do we come from? All these questions and more I feel that I will be able to answer for myself by studying African and African Diaspora studies. Thus, why I've tried to take initiative in knowing about where I come from. As a student government officer in high school I initiated a Black History Month board in our main hallway that displayed several prominent black influential history makers. Even though it was a small effort, I wanted our school to have a display of Black excellence.

Receiving student feedback on their appreciation of the board helped me see the power of submerging myself in my culture and allowed me to see the significance of activism. My junior and senior year of high school I was blessed to have educators that further opened my mind to black literature, film and politics. It was then that I knew that I had a keen interested in these matters and hoped that one day I could further my education in them.

Upon entering college, forwarding my educational interest in African American studies was imperative, but unfortunately the major is not offered at my current university and the education on the subject is limited. However classes such as sociology and American history have allowed me to still educate myself on pieces of our history. Becoming a member of my universities NAACP has also granted me the opportunity to discover and initiate productivity within my culture by participating in political, educational and social issues that burden African American students today. Yet, I yearn to explore and excavate several embellishments of my culture that I have yet to explore. Not only am I interested in African culture in America but all over this world. African's history is rich all over the world and what we have achieved is extraordinary. Comparatively, I believe that understanding the past prepares you to make a difference in the future. I want to be apart of my culture past and present; it is my belief that Black studies could allow me to obtain that goal. I pray that by attending the University of Texas and majoring in Black Studies I can further my educational goals and dreams. I believe that the opportunities within and without my field that UT can provide are boundless.

If able to attend the University of Texas, I see myself being able to step into the person that I've strived to become thus far. I've put a lot of effort into my studies while substantially overcoming some of my demons in dealing with depression and anxiety since I was thirteen and an immune disease that caused a medical scare my freshman year of college. Both instances took a huge tool on me mentally and physically as well as affecting my classroom performance. However, I feel that I have worked hard and been tremendously blessed, so now I would like to progress towards my ultimate goals in life. Subsequently, I believe the biggest stride I've made is discovering my purpose in wanting to study African American studies. The knowledge I desire to obtain from this field is knowledge that I hope to use in further educating my own students. A huge beneficial part of an education from the University of Texas for me is the UTeach program; granting me the ability to obtain a liberal arts education and supply me with a teacher certification to enable my passion for teaching. By encompassing both passions I feel that the University of Texas is a perfect place for me to do what I love and become the person that I strive to be. "Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself". In life I have learned a great deal but the blessing in living is being ability to keep growing and learning and I know that at the University of Texas, I can learn and grow into the person I want to be.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Sep 23, 2014   #2
Texasbreed, I once heard these words spoken on a television program "I want my family to be black, not blackish." That is exactly how I felt reading your paper. That is the image that I saw of you in my mind, you are black, but you are mostly white owing to your experiences in life. So, my suggestion would be to use the quote I mentioned earlier as the basis for your personal statement with regards to your majoring in African American Studies.

Let's face it, you were a black person in a white school. So that alone sets up the stage for a very emotional and compelling awakening for you. You were caught in a world that was neither black or white. You acted white and were bullied for it. You acted black but did not understand what it meant to be black. So you are one of the lost generation, You need to discuss this essay from that point of view.

Explain how majoring in African American Studies after being caught in a racial limbo will finally help you understand where you came from and will help you understand where you are headed in the future. It is important that the admission officer understand and feel the importance of this major to you by connecting your life story to your choice of majors.

Right off the bat you should let the reader know that this all about connecting with a culture that you should have known as a child but to this very day understand very little about. This will be unique aspect of your personal and academic background that relate to your chosen major. I believe that by doing this, you will be able to strengthen the statement and deliver the emotional and personal connection that it needs with your major.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Sep 30, 2014   #3
I' am many things and Black is one of them; however, " Being colored is a metaphysical dilemma I haven't conquered yet."

I see an apostrophe in front of that first word, must be a typo. Also, if you are quoting someone put their name in parentheses:

...however, " Being colored is a metaphysical dilemma I haven't conquered yet" (name).

You have a lot of great ideas here.. even though it does not define you, it is a part of you. Great sentence! But 'apart' means something different. Use 2 words: a part...

Thus, in my ongoing adolescences adolescence I've ...

further my educational goals and dreams. I believe that the opportunities within and ... If able to attend the University of Texas, I see myself being able to step into the person that I've strived to become thus far. All this part, in the transition into the last paragraph.. it all is too general, I think. When you make a very general statement, it's like throwing a punch and missing. Say specific things. Share your idea. If you have no specific idea, come up with one. Some people say part of the reason more African American males are in prison, for example, involves low quality education in predominantly poor African American communities. So maybe you have ideas about how to direct your studies in a way that will help you create educational opportunity for young African American males. How could you help them have opportunities? Express a specific plan. : )

You write very well!


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