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"what makes you a unique individual" - Transfer Essay to UCONN


answers: 2
Afternoon,

I plan on transferring to the University of Connecticut Storrs; this transfer essay means more then I can possibly reflect in writing so I would like to have some one look over this for me.

# Please describe what makes you a unique individual and how these qualities can benefit the University of Connecticut community.

What makes some one unique can be there personalities, their religious views their hobbies their personality the music that interests them. Unique persons are: Einstein for his intellect, how much he has provided in the ways of scientific laws,and theories, that have advanced the world. Henry David Thoreau for his writings his affiliation with the transcendentalist movement his desire to know more about the natural world. I would view my self as a unique individual for my work ethic, my passion to know how the mechanical world works, and my love of travel.

Work ethic I belive is something that is enstilled in you from your child hood, my work ethic came from my father. I have always been employed whether it be working for a grocery stores or working various odd jobs recently. I have enlisted in the Coast Guard for the last two years being enlisted I have: advanced twice, I have taken college classes,I have received a letter of appreciation, I have become the sailor of the quarter,attended machinery technician school where I have placed in the top of the class, I feel this presents a strong work ethic. Although, on the other hand my claim of having a good work ethic is not substantiated. By my first attempt at college that was not completely successful the reason for this is that I failed to apply my self to my studies I was studying something I had lost the passion for, while attending college I also failed to fully understand the rammifications of not fulfilling my duties to the college. Being a dilligent student and continuing to apply my self even though I did not like what I was studying. My time in the Coast Guard has given me the time to mature to understand, that hard work pays off no matter how unpleasant or arduous the assignment may be. I have worked hard to be a productive and successful member to the Coast Guard. I would also like to be able apply this same work ethic to my mechanical engineering degree at UCONN.

I have a desire to know more about how the mechanical world works as a child and teenager I had many bicycles in my parents garage that I repaired and worked on and I changed the broken parts out with new. I would spend time at the bicycle shop learning how a bicycles derailler works so I could learn how to better adjust them. As a high school student I had a passion to learn more about computer sceince so I enrolled in a vocational computer information course to broaden my knowledge. In the Coast Guard I became a machinery technician to learn how to repair machinery, This quality makes me unique and valuable to the University of Conneticut because I am a person that will ask questions to know more about how a topic or subject works. UCONN in return will help me to learn more about mechanical engineering with the small class sizes, the facilities in addition the multiple grants that the college has recieved like the one from the National Science Foundation has awarded to the engineering department. These attributes of UCONN will enriches my knowledge of the mechanical world, fullfilling my passion to know more about the mechanical world.

My love to travel is to see unique places of the country for instance, I have traveled to the rocky mountains of Colorado have backpacked the Grand Canyon my tour of duty this summer will includes port calls in countys like Puerto Rico, Columbia, Mexico, and many others. Traveling to new and interesting places allows me to be a person that can be self sufficient ready to take on new challenges and is open minded about other cultures, and is not afraid of new experiences. This will be valuable to UCONN because I will be able to stand the rigors of college life and be able to accept new schedules and taking on fresh new challenges accompanied with perusing my degree

I would consider my self a unique individual in more ways then presented, I feel that the qualities I have presented will benefit the University of Conneticut in a multitude of ways for example. I have a work ethic that I will see my degree to the end and take on the challenges of earning my degree, and get involved in student life. I have a passion to know more about the mechanical world instead of just littering my mom's garage with various bicycle parts I will be able to take that interest and turn it into growing my knowledge base. The fact that I like to travel makes me a person that is self sufficent and ready to take on the challenges of college. These are the qualities that make me a unique individual and valuable person to the University of Conneticut

Apr 18, 2010, 06:46pm   #2
Your essay is coming along well, except you repeated the same thing a few times about your passion for seeing how things work. Also, there are a few spelling and punctuation errors;

What makes someone unique can be their personalities, their religious views their hobbies, their personality or the music that interests them.

Unique persons are: Einstein for his intellect, how much he has provided in the ways of scientific laws and theories that have advanced the world. I took away the commas after laws and theories.

Henry David Thoreau for his writings, his affiliation with the transcendentalist movement and his desire to know more about the natural world.
I would view myself as a unique individual for my work ethic, my passion to know how the mechanical world works, and my love of travel.

Work ethic I believe , is something that is instilled in you from your child hood, and my work ethic came from my father.

I have always been employed, whether it be working for a grocery stores or working various odd jobs recently.

I am enlisted in the Coast Guard, and[/font] for the last two years [font#FF0000]of being enlisted I have: advanced twice, I have taken college classes,I have received a letter of appreciation, I have become the sailor of the quarter, attended machinery technician school where I have placed in the top of the class, and I feel this presents a strong work ethic.

Although, On the other hand, my claim of having a good work ethic is not substantiated.
My first attempt at college that was not completely successful, and the reason for this is that I failed to apply myself to my studies.
I was studying something I had lost the passion for, and while attending college I also failed to fully understand the ramifications of not fulfilling my duties to the college.
Like being a diligent student and continuing to apply myself even though I did not like what I was studying.

My time in the Coast Guard has given me the time to mature, and to understand that hard work pays off no matter how unpleasant or arduous the assignment may be.
I have worked hard to be a productive and successful member of the Coast Guard.
I have a desire to know more about how the mechanical world works. As a child and teenager...

I would spend time at the bicycle shop learning how a bicycles derailleur works so I could learn how to better adjust them.

As a high school student I had a passion to learn more about computer science so I enrolled in a vocational computer information course to broaden my knowledge.

In the Coast Guard I became a machinery technician to learn how to repair machinery. This quality makes me unique and valuable to the University of Connecticut because I am a person that will ask questions to learn more about how a topic or subject works.
UCONN in return will help me to learn more about mechanical engineering with the small class sizes, the facilities, and in addition, the multiple grants that the college has received, like the one the National Science Foundation has awarded to the engineering department.
These attributes of UCONN will enriches my knowledge of the mechanical world, fulfilling my passion to know more about the mechanical world.

...for instance, I have traveled to the rocky mountains of Colorado, have backpacked the Grand Canyon, and my tour of duty this summer will include port calls in countries like Puerto Rico, Columbia, Mexico, and many others.

Traveling to new and interesting places allows me to be a person that can be self sufficient and ready to take on new challenges and someone who is open minded about other cultures, and is not afraid of new experiences.

I would consider my self a unique individual in more ways than presented, and I feel that the qualities I have presented will benefit the University of Connecticut in a multitude of ways. for example.

I have a work ethic that will enable me to see my degree to the end...

I have a passion to know more about the mechanical world, and instead of just littering my mom's garage with various bicycle parts, ...

The fact that I like to travel makes me a person that is self sufficient and ready to take on the challenges of college. These are the qualities that make me a unique individual and valuable person to the University of Connecticut



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