This is my first draft on my essay supplement for UVA due November 1st! Any editing, comments on how to make it more interesting or just general comments would be greatly appreciated! Prompt: We are a community with quirks, both in language (we'll welcome you to Grounds, not campus) and in traditions. Describe one of your quirks and why it is part of who you are. Word limit: around 250 words
Essay:
To Do: pick up Thomas at 4:30, English essay, math homework, write a thank you note. I scribble all these quickly onto my pad and post it to the wall right in front of me, ready to start crossing things off. English Essay: done, cross that off. Math homework: finished. Thank you note: written, scratch through that one. Now all that's left is to pick up my brother from practice. Lists are what help me maintain my sanity at times. Stressed people often scream, hit pillows, or get overwhelmed; I make lists. I list my homework, my wish list, my current "To Do" list, my gift list, my activities list, and my book list. I even just listed my lists. They help motivate me to tackle everything I have to do and to determine the most pressing tasks at that time. When I am juggling my homework and babysitting schedule with my extracurricular activities, lists are there to keep my ambitions high and my moral from dropping. As weird as it sounds, I love organization and, you guessed it, lists. Lists to me are more than just what I have to do. My lists can represent what is most important to me: quality time with those I love, surpassing an expectation, travel, hot tea, and everything soft. They could be a countdown for the things I have to do before an exciting event: put away laundry, make dinner, eat dinner, and get ready for the concert! My lists do not necessarily define who I am, but they do serve many purposes and are inherently a part of who I am.
Anne, this is a very interesting quirk. The stories you related about how it helps you keep your life organized and ensures that you finish all your tasks on schedule is admirable. However, I believe that you could have used this quirk to also explain how the post it notes will help you become a successful college student as well. Remember, post its seem to be the best friends of students, it is sticking out of their books and notebooks all the time. So if you can somehow relate the quirk to that, I think that the quirk will prove to be the most important aspect of your personality and student life as well, thus making the essay more effective and memorable for the reader.
Very creative.
Where you say "English Essay: done, cross that off. " and "Thank you note: written, scratch through that one. " you should replace the commas with periods or semicolons. I understand that a comma would make sense while talking, but grammatically, a period or semicolon should be put there.
Although, instead of doing that, you could also put those sentences in quotations, as they are thoughts of yours. Hmmm..
