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'Living live fighting one cause - animal protection' - college worthy?


taylornicholson 1 / -  
Oct 21, 2012   #1
If you could live your life fighting for one cause , what would it be and why?

Animals are creatures that entertain us, inform us, and most importantly; they comfort us. Animals should be protected and treated with respect. By being able to dedicate my life to one cause, it would be animal rights and protection.

When my mother was in the hospital, and we thought that we may lose her, every night was a challenge, and the one thing that kept me semi sane during that horrid time period was my dog and my cat. Returning home my dog would stay by my side and just sit there, and my cat would climb and my lap and lay there; sensing distress. When I was alone these two animals kept me feeling safe ,not knowing what was happening to my mother, and many other animals do the same for police officers, firefighters, and especially military troops who are suffering from disorders. The animal with them helps them, and many of the animal are rescue animals, like my cat who had been abandon. Together, the human and animal help each other, and I would fight to protect all of the animals that are left and treated with malicious behavior; so they could help someone in need of a friend

Animals are a species that can help others, many therapy programs, and hospitals use dogs that had been in a therapy themselves because they had been rehabilitated and by being able to help these inspiring creatures if I was able to dedicate my life to their cause, and be the one to help give them a voice.

By dedicating my life to animal protection and rights I would also be helping the endangered animals in different countries who are being poached, like the rhinos in south Africa who are being hunted for their tusks. To be able to help these defenseless animals would be the greatest reward because By helping save their livrd instead of being a hunters prize. As well, with all of the animals that I would be helping, they would be helping me become a better person since I would be protecting something that meant something to me.

Through dedicating my life to a cause , and that cause being protecting animals and their rights, I would be able to help so many animal that in turn help other human beings. To help animals that are helpless because their owners no longer feel the need to feed them or decide that they are now a punching bag, by being a person dedicated to these animals and all others , I would be becoming apart of something bigger then myself. I would be a part of a team of whole beloved in animal rights and protection.
ajdue 2 / 8  
Oct 21, 2012   #2
In the first paragraph, if you use the names of your pets after the first time you say dog and cat, it makes the essay a little more personal.

The animal with them helps them, and many of the animal are rescue animals, like my cat who had been abandon. This sentence especially is very vague with pronouns and could be worded better.

because By helping save their livrd instead of being a hunters prize I think you are trying to say. 'because I would be saving them from becoming a hunters prize."

Towards the end, you begin to repeat yourself a lot and sort of babble when you could say the same thing is shorter more condensed sentence.

Hope this helps!
Good luck!
borto12 1 / 2  
Oct 21, 2012   #3
By being able to dedicate my life to one cause, it would be animal rights and protection.

needs revision, wrong tenses
krissytintin 2 / 3  
Oct 22, 2012   #4
By being able to dedicate my life to one cause, it would be animal rights and protection.

Not sure about this sentence, it sounds really awkward. Think about writing it a different way. Otherwise I think you have a really good piece overall!


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