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"Literature is the best way to overcome death"- Amherst Supplement- Reply to quote


Michael48304 8 / 31  
Aug 28, 2010   #1
Below is the quote I responded to. Below that is my response. Let me know what you think, I struggled a bit with this one, all the quotes were very wordy and confusing.

2.
"Literature is the best way to overcome death. My father, as I said, is an actor. He's the happiest man on earth when he's performing, but when the show is over, he's sad and troubled. I wish he could live in the eternal present, because in the theater everything remains in memories and photographs. Literature, on the other hand, allows you to live in the present and to remain in the pantheon of the future.

Literature is a way to say, I was here, this is what I thought, this is what I perceived. This is my signature, this is my name."

Ilan Stavans, Professor of Spanish, Amherst College
From "The Writer in Exile: an interview with Ilan Stavans" by Saideh Pakravan for the fall 1993 issue of The Literary Review

Amherst Supplemental Essay (Quote #2)
Mr. McGee, our technical director, rose from his chair, tears flowing down his face. He began his speech to the cast and crew, discussing the messages the show offered. He confessed that every evening during the performance, he would sit in the back of the theater and cry. Twelve years earlier, his brother committed suicide after discovering he had AIDS, and as Mr. McGee watched our production of "Rent," he was able to mourn for the first time since the incident.

Stavans argues that literature is superior to theater because it allows you to remain in the pantheon of the future. I wholeheartedly disagree with his assertion. He fails to see that theater, too, can be a signature. While the performance itself is fleeting, the effect on the lives of the actors and audience endures.

The theater community constantly speaks of the "power of the theater." I never fully understood this until the moment Mr. McGee spoke. Looking back on "Rent," I realize how special the experience was. The show tackles so many issues, from homosexuality and AIDS, to the danger of corporate America. It had a profound impact on my life. It is one thing to read about these struggles; it is quite another to immerse yourself into the character on stage and live through them.

Written words on a page may be powerful, but often it is the stage that brings them to life. I believe Stavans presents an unsophisticated view of theater to say that it carries less weight than literature. The fact that the combined voices of me and my fellow actors possessed the intensity to bring a hardened ex-marine to tears is incredibly moving. Our performance may have changed only one man's life, but it helped him transcend his sadness and troubles.
ershad193 14 / 333 5  
Aug 29, 2010   #2
The transition from the first to the second paragraph is a bit abrupt.

You present valid arguments, but is that the main point of this essay? I thought every admissions essay has to be somehow personal in nature. Right now, your essay lacks that personal edge, albeit slightly.

For example, in the third paragraph, phrases like "profound impact" only leave vague impressions on the reader's mind. How did it specifically affect you?

The last sentence of that para also falls in that category.

Other than that, your essay is great. I found it a very interesting read.
OP Michael48304 8 / 31  
Aug 29, 2010   #3
Yeah, I guess I struggled a little bit making it personal. Sort of tough to respond to an analytical quote in a personal manner. Anything I can cut to make room for more personal stuff? It's right at the limit now.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Aug 29, 2010   #4
No need for a comma after "Rent"... I know it seems like you need one, but actually it is unnecessary and the sentence may seem more powerful without it.

Wow, heavy topic...

You did a great job with this. Also, I have to agree with your argument. Writing is my art, but I cannot claim that writing has anything theater lacks. Theater has a script, which is a valid form of writing.

Ershad makes a great observation. It is abrupt. The thesis statement is missing from the end of the first paragraph. Add a sentence that captures the essence of the essay, and THEN end that first paragraph. I often tell people this, as if they MUST give a thesis at the end of the first paragraph; this is not a rule, really, but you have to be aware that the last sentence of the first para is an important one. Give a sentence that contains the soul of the essay, and then end that first para.

This is an excellent essay.
ershad193 14 / 333 5  
Aug 29, 2010   #5
Anything I can cut to make room for more personal stuff?

You don't need to cut anything. You can modify some sentences to make them sound more personal.
OP Michael48304 8 / 31  
Aug 30, 2010   #6
Okay, I worked on it.

Thesis: That moment drastically changed my view of theater and my view of life itself.

I know it could use work. Thoughts?

Rewrote the entire third paragraph. Might be bad. Does it need a better transition to the 4th paragraph still?

"I am affected. As we sang the finale, I stopped to listen to the lyrics. "No day but today." Why should the characters we were portraying live their lives more fully than I live my own? I now appreciate the little things - coffee with a friend or dinner with my ailing grandparents. Life, like the performance, is fleeting."


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