Good afternoon :)
OK, let's see:
The souvenirs I brought back were all that's Avoid contractions in formal academic writing.
left of the metropolis I so much loved. But Avoid beginning your sentences with conjunctive/transitory words such as "and," "so," and "but."
as I began to turn my head back I saw something that caught my attention.
It was the countryside. H
ow quaint and pastoral it looked.
How the stark difference in ambiance
filled my head as I wondered how a very industrial country could
have this haven within itself.
Never in America can one find a place as distinct as the countryside that was bestowed
in front of me. I wondered,
puzzled by the vastness of the world that I knew. How the geography and culture has shaped how humans settled?
Though about an hour or two had
passed, the country scene changed.I arrived
to Tainan, back to civilization and back to society. Back to the world, to the stressfulness, the hecticness This isn't a word; replace it with something else.
, and the complexity of life. Though long gone from the place only conceived by dreams, I have learned that no matter how the world industrializes there are always those oases that exists where nature and man live
The main issue I see here is that of tense. You switch back and forth from past to present tense, something that really should only be done in creative writing pieces. In formal academic writing, choose one tense and then stay there throughout the piece.
In regards to content, this is a very well organized piece with good flow. Your topic is good for the response, and you do a great job illustrating for your audience.