Prompt: Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.
It's not quite finished yet, I just want to know if I am going in the right direction!
This is a story of a boy and how Elgar has molded his life. Sir Edward Elgar's Opus 36, commonly known as his Enigma Variations, has been with me from my childhood to this very moment. This piece has influenced me to become the stronger person that I am today. It has also influenced me in the sense that everything happens for a reason. Growing up as a young boy in Queens, life was hard. My family lived in the basement of my Grandmother's home. We all knew that we didn't have much, forcing us to make do with what we have. Everyone had the same mentality, except for my father. Oh, what a character he was! He is the Supporting Actor in the movie I call "Life".
Scene 1: the man, the woman, and R.P.A.
My dad was not a very thoughtful man. He made this very obvious in many ways. One way would be by always being in and out of jail (but I'll save that for later). In this scene, we have my father having a discussion with my mother. My mother has had enough of him and all of his nonsense. She says she needs a change of scenery in order for the kids to live a life she didn't live.
My Father knowing this dashed into my bedroom and took me out of my bed. I am terrified for my life because all I really hear is screaming and shouting. He started beating me because he knew I was a representation of the "relationship "that once was my mother and father. My mom desperately tells him to stop and that she was lying about leaving him. He throws me down to the floor and they leave my bedroom. It was then that Elgar changed my life. I play the cassette that my Grandmother gave me titled "Musical Masterpieces". I went through the whole cassette trying to appease myself. Then I came to Number 5, R.P.A..
Although the yelling had not ceased, I was in a place of total an utter silence. I sat there, tears rolling down my cheeks, listening to the rolling triplets. As the song progressed, the moving darkness turned into a light of melodic clarinets. It was the rolling tones of the Bass section that really made me come to terms with myself. The juxtaposition between light and dark that Elgar conveys really made a connection to my life that not a single 9 year old can relate to. At that age, I knew that the Enigma Variations was my holy trinity. I knew that it was this piece of music that would help me through all the tough times. I did not know that it would be the band-aid of my life.
It was R.P.A. that really gave me the foundation, but the rest of this opus arte magnus was what gave me the drive to keep going.
Scene 2: the inquisitive little boy and Ysobel
My family was expecting to me a definite replication of my father. In actuality, I was nothing like my father. I was a very intellectually curious child. By asking to bring home textbooks over the summer to learn more and bringing home chalk to teaching my baby sister math, my curiosity just grew. When I moved from New York to Florida, I didn't know who I was a person. My mind was doing one thing but my outside forces expected me to do something else. The identity crisis that comes to teenagers was right in my face at the age of 10. I went to my sage for the answer. I sat and entered my world again. This time the ruler was Ysobel. The moving andantino, told me that it is ok to be an inquisitive child, I am still young and my life will fall into place. As I took this advice, I felt a part of me being played by the solo viola. The lurking quarter notes used to add mystery gave me what I was looking for, acceptance. After the meeting with my savant, I still remember his wise words.
Scene 3: Closing Curtain and the Gang
After my life defining moment with Ysobel, I decided that it doesn't matter what people thought of me just as long as I became successful. At first I was like Little Read Riding Hood, I was scared but determined to get to my destination. Everything was going well until my 7th grade. My father died, drug overdose. When the event happened, I didn't know how to feel. The man who beat my mother one night but loved her next. The man who brought home large amounts of drugs. The man who refused to acknowledge his two kin. The man who threatened to kill my Grandparents. This man had done unforgivable acts but yet I could not help but hurt inside. No one understood my pain, no one but The Gang.
They went by Nimrod, WM, and BGN. WM and BGN helped me lament and heal. In the dark corner of my life, I managed to find closure by understanding the words that BGN told me. "It's ok to cry. He is your father and you loved him" said BGN. When I came to terms with the lost, WM managed to fly in and help me heal. It was not until 5 moths later Nimrod came in and pieced it all together. Nimrod told me "Don't let this stray you off the path. Continue being positive and don't let anything stop you." Nimrod also helped me realized why I the death effected me. This man made me the boy I was. If it were not for him setting a bad example, I would not have the urge to strive for the best. The subtle tones that introduced Nimrod made me seriously question his word, but as I listened on, the rolling tones of the Timpani told me that his word was the real deal. Whenever I listen to these three songs, I can't help but say Thank You.
I have not let the event that have happened in my past define as a person. I am a lot better than that. As a result, I have never shared my past with anyone...until now. My life is not defined by one moment but a whole collection of moments. These moments may make me laugh, like Dorabella or they may make me cry like C.A.E., whatever the case may be I know that it will happen and I'll have Elgar and his Variations to help me through it.
This seems like a very promising topic, moving and original. However, it seems likely to get rather long. Perhaps you can keep the same spirit but in a more condensed form? Interesting as it may be, the essay is still going to be one in a pile of hundreds, so keeping the length under control will work to your benefit.
I think it's really a touching one! How I wish I could write like how you tell the story of your father....
As for length, I think now that you are writing a movie, you can use more image than narrative. That is: you can just select the most effective image in this scene, focus on that, and skip the reason, or discripition, or narration before or after that part. Then, you essay will be like 3 touching images and that is brief and consise~
Well, the content seems solid enough. You need to work on polishing your grammar, though. For instance, in your first part, you switch back and forth from past to present to past tense again. I assume you are trying to use the present tense for dramatic effect, but it doesn't really work well, and I would recommend putting everything in the past.
He made this very obvious in many ways; like being a frequent tenant in jai
Replace the semi-colon with a comma. Semi-colons separate two complete sentences, and the second half of this is not a complete sentence.
