Would you mind taking a look at my other essay that answers "Why do you want to attend university of Dallas" , please keep in mind that those are not the main college essays , those are answers to questions where I am limited to 250 words
Thank you
The idea of leaving everyone I know in my small circle of friends and family(in Egypt), that I have lived in for the past couple of years, and moving to another country, 7065.1 miles away where I have no acquaintances in is terrifying, to say the least. Feeling a bit of homesickness is the least of my fears, but what if I develop an illness or was wrongfully arrested ? I have heard feedback about the University of Dallas from numerous different people including teachers, counselors and even graduates but they all had one thing in common, everyone started by describing how welcomed the students feel and the tremendous effort the staff and students devote to making the environment feel like home.
Not only does the University of Dallas offer an excellent Computer Science program, but also one of the very few colleges that provides an outstanding MS degree in Cyber Security, which everyone agrees, is highly respected among employers .My interest in Cyber Security has grown significantly over time, not only because of the cool hackers shown in movies, but also because of the fact that our world is rapidly transforming into a digital one and I would be honored to have the ability to contribute to protecting it.
I will comment your last essay.
You began your essay by telling the prospect of moving to a place thousands miles away, but then you say "Feeling a bit of homesickness is the least of my fears, but what if I develop an illness or was wrongfully arrested ?"
I think telling that your homesickness as your last fear just contradict your essay lead and the reason you stated why you choose UD, which is the welcomed feeling. You may want to say that you may get homesick instead, so the welcome feeling in UD will interest you.
Stating your fear of getting wrongfully arrested doesn't make significant sense to your essay because there's no further discussion or explanation in that. You're afraid of getting wrongfully arrested, but then what?
But your second paragraph is great. I love your last sentence. Good job!
Today is my first day to join essayforum and I am blown out by the number of helpful people here, please tell me how I can repay guys ? , those few sentences of yours have probably changed my future and you are doing it just for nothing in return. One million thanks !!
I will work on it some more , thank you again
In my opinion, you should not include the part where Cyber Security is highly sought out by employers. I do not think the admissions officer is looking for that or at least the way you said it because in their minds you just want to go there for a future job. While you can talk about your love for cyber security, I would talk more about the environment the school offers that you love.
