This is my revision:
I strum a G chord on my instrument. It sounds so majestic; note sings in my soul. I never want the sound to end. I look at my rough and calloused fingertips. Ah, the memories! These calluses are my trophies; they represent the pain I endured over the years. I challenged myself and marveled at the work I put into it. Playing the guitar the last two years has been a great achievement of mine.
My fingers strike down on the metallic strings. Two years ago I never truly had a hobby. My parents never encouraged me to attain a hobby until I was a teenager. Since I had friends who have played the guitar, I decided to follow in their footsteps. Learning the guitar has come with many challenges. My first challenge was my parents wanted me to earn my guitar. Over several months I toiled endlessly with chores and menial housework. On my birthday, my parents wrapped an oddly shaped present and handed it to me. What they handed to me was a beautiful guitar. The guitar was a supple red-toned masterpiece. Earning that guitar took precious work. I learned the value of hard work and dedication. I still cherish that guitar today.
Learning to play was a difficult challenge. When I arrived at the guitar studio my first day, I was surrounded by numerous contraptions for many instruments that I could not even pronounce the name of. Luckily, my teacher Ryan took me under his wing and became a wonderful teacher and a great friend. He led me through months of frustration and nipping pain in my fingertips. He explained to me how everyone endures the same difficulties and it would soon pass. Being committed I am glad I listened to Ryan and did not give up, because now I am quite skilled at playing.
Learning to play an instrument has been incredibly rewarding for me. I have been taught skills which I will carry with me the rest of my life. By learning guitar, I have not only learned a new instrument, but I have learned valuable lessons of commitment and dedication; lessons I will carry with me the rest of my life.