Hey guys. so I'm planning on handing in my ED application to Stanford by mid-October, and I need a lot of help with my supplements. It's the first draft, so all criticism is welcome. I'd like to know if I'm on track with the whole, " be funny but intellectual" thing I keep seeing on advice columns and successful applications. This Kenyan chick will deeply appreciate any advice :-) Also on grammar, I tend to not see my mistakes.
Hey, roommate and friend! I have excellent experience with the whole roommate thing, having lived in a hostel my entire high school life here in Kenya, so don't worry; living with me won't be awkward at all. We were four of us in Room 23 in Kenya House, and we got along just fine. My former roommates might describe me as pleasantly weird, but don't let that give you anxiety; I don't harbor any potentially life-threatening behaviors. I am a little quirky, though, so you might catch me trying to compose a choir harmony using multiple phone recordings of my voice, or acting out my favorite scenes in Harry Potter by myself, or reciting, while changing my clothes, poems I have written. Don't worry, I'm very sane. I'll play you some guitar music, if you'd like, and give you my short story drafts to read through (I'll have your name on the dedication once they are published, I promise).
I love talking, about anything and everything, from Robert Frost's poetry and the evolution of rock music in the 70s and 80s to Artificial Intelligence, time travel as a scientific principal and astronomy; my artistic and Physics-geeky sides are in constant battle with each other. Are you a novel addict? Are you an information junkie? If so, be prepared to meet your match! I wrote the fun facts column in the school magazine, and got stuck with a breadth of knowledge of random particulars, and a thirst for more. I always say, finding out stuff is just as meaningful as having the ability to disseminate it.
To bring a little bit of home to Stanford, I'll start a Kiswahili Club, with you as my first member and partner, and teach you a reasonable amount of my national language. I was very disappointed to see that it was not included in the Common App, though it is spoken in five countries and by millions across East and Central Africa. We have to organize a petition for that!
Too much at one go? I do tend to be a little spontaneous. I am a good listener, though, and I can't wait to hear from you. With my habits and your awesomeness, I am pretty sure we'll make a great team.
Hi, ok so i totally get the vibe you were going for. Snarky- yet intellectual, with a little bit of self- deprecating humor. The essay is fun, and I think it says a lot about you as a person, as well as your unique nature. Its also great you found a creative way to put in your likes/ dislikes so your roommate gets to know you beforehand.
Only bit I would change is :
To bring a little bit of home to Stanford, I'll start a Kiswahili Club, with you as my first member and partner, and teach you a reasonable amount of my national language. I was very disappointed to see that it was not included in the Common App, though it is spoken in five countries and by millions across East and Central Africa. We have to organize a petition for that!
Because it isn't really relevant to the story.
Other than that, its perfect! Best of luck
