The essay may seem cliche :/ but this really is a true representation of who I am. opinions?
Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?
It was another cool summer night in Hobi. The small village along the south side of Taiwan was already teeming with energy when the familiar melody started reverberating from down the street. Looking up from the novel, I noticed an old woman across the street struggling to carry her garbage out. Unable to bear the weight of the bags, her frail legs eventually gave out, spilling the contents all over the floor. I watched as a barrage of children came running to her aid. I chuckled to myself, finding it comical yet admirable how dozens of children came to assist her when only a few were needed. I couldn't help but think later how grateful I was to be a part of such a compassionate community.
Growing up in America, it was difficult for me to connect with my Taiwanese heritage. It wasn't until the summer following 6th grade that I was able to first visit my hometown. During my stay, I began to notice that the people of Hobi, unlike Americans, found happiness in everyday living. Possessions like televisions or cell phones were basically unheard of in this small village.
As I spent summer after summer in Hobi village, I realized that the happiness they found in their lives stemmed from each other. While taking walks, I could observe the bond each individual shared with their neighbors. At seven in the morning, I found elders preforming taichi in the local fields while parents casually conversed at the breakfast stands. Even the children were up and about, spinning their self-made tops in the empty parking lots. Watching these interactions day after day, I began to internalize the value of harmony between people.
I soon came to understand that the closeness of the community was driven also through traditions. I remember the cool night when I first heard the familiar melody from the surprising source, a garbage truck; even more surprising was the staggering number of people gathered. As the truck came and the garbage was emptied, I found it peculiar how no one seemed burdened having to do this "chore". I came to learn that for the people of Hobi the truck symbolized something more than just a way to dispose their refuse. They showed me that lavish block parties or extravagant county fairs weren't needed; instead something as simple as a truck could be a more effective way in bringing together the community. It was moving to see how obstacles such as poverty could not keep the people of Hobi from finding a way to connect.
Over the years, I've learned that Hobi village has not come to define me; rather it has inspired me to become the person I am today. Seeing my native people so united through all of their adversity has challenged me to develop a new appreciation of community. Each year, coming back to America after my time spent in Taiwan, my desire to connect with others grows more and more. I now understand that achieving simplicity and obtaining interpersonal connections was my path to pure happiness.
After developing this new mindset I have made it a personal goal to tear down boundaries in communities. I have found that humans believe they need something in common to connect with one another, when in reality, being human itself should be enough. Through organizations such as my local Buddhist Youth Group I have been given the opportunities to teach others the sense of community Taiwan has taught me. I hope that in the future, at higher institutions such as Northwestern University, I will still be able to spread my beliefs with and within the community.
Gene, I don't find this essay cliche-ish at all. In fact, I find it to be a very heartwarming tale of reconnecting with your roots and in the process, finding your self. Any reader will perfectly understand why the place is important to you. I just have a suggestion to make though. Rather than bringing us into the world by telling us what you saw, heard, and observed, why not tell us how you were affected by the events that you were seeing and how it helped to change you for the better as a person? That way the connection between the place and its importance to you will become clearer for the reader. Then you can close the essay by explaining to us the contentment that you feel each time you go to Hobi and how it relates in importance to you :-)
I just wanted to say thank you for leaving a suggestion for my supplemental essay. This may seem really random and unnecessary, but I'm Taiwanese too! However I did not have the opportunity to grow up in Taiwan as I was born here.
This is a wonderful essay!
Make sure you change elders preforming to performing .
I also don't know if you should add Northwestern to the end of your common app, as I feel that the college essay shouldn't really be based on how you much you want to go to a specific college such as that one (since there will be other colleges reading your essay) and that what should be stressed is about YOU (which your essay did very well.)
