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'his island of Puerto Rico' - FSU Essae


yenesco 1 / 1  
Sep 13, 2008   #1
The true value of a dollar is only seen through the eyes of the hungry and the desolate. When there is necessity, money is the key to the lock of happiness that we continuously fight and strive for voraciously everyday. Growing up in a family of low formal education, I have had to survive through these periodic hunger famines because of lack of monetary influence in my home. My father was a businessman who has failed in his strenuous endeavors. He travels to his island of Puerto Rico in order to attack the monster of hunger and depravation of which his family suffers from every time he has departed from our sight. Months would go on without his return, thus leaving my unemployed mother and I to conserve our food in order to sustain such difficult times. However, this has shaped me to be the person who I am today. It has made my understanding for responsibility and unity a stronger and passionate attachment. Therefore, the term "Vires" has a significant mark on my background.

Having to quarrel with this bully, always bringing me down and making undergo horrible experiences, I ended up working for my father and his crew of construction workers in Puerto Rico. Working pain-staking hours, from seven in the morning to twelve o'clock at night for wages of twenty dollars a day, my body could not sustain such exhaustion on a daily basis. This is what drives my spirit to excel in school so that I could become anything I wish to be and not be forced to succumb to the powerful grips of hunger or to have to work at any cost in order to put food on the table, as my father has had to experience. When I left Puerto Rico and arrived to Miami, I had over two hundred dollars saved up. I gave this to my mother who could not accompany us because of the air fare costs. From then on, I have put my social life on hold and have focused on my studies as intense as a triathlon runner. I have received a congressional award for Most Improved Student of Miami, elected from my school Coral Reef Senior High. I was also hired as an Intern at the Securities and Exchange Commission; only three students in all of Miami Dade County have had the privilege of saying that. FSU, a university that strives itself on the improvement of its students, both mentally and physically, is the place that may fully develop my raw potential for business and economics. Even though I have not been dealt the best set of cards, with the help of my "Vires" and Florida State University, I will finish the game winning the pot of happiness.
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Sep 14, 2008   #2
Good afternoon.

Please note there are a few mechanical corrections. Other than than, it looked fine to me.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
OP yenesco 1 / 1  
Sep 14, 2008   #3
FSU Essay second draft

Growing up in a family with parents who didn't have much formal education, I have had to experience periods of penury and want in my home. My father is a hard working and diligent man¸ but his lack of education has not allowed him to build a better life for his family. It seems that he always finds his path to success blocked by difficulties that he can't overcome. However, this has shaped me into the person that I am today. It has made me more tolerant of the shortcomings of other people and more responsible for my own destiny. I know that I have to carve myself a future through education. I understand that I have received in life exactly what my parents could give me, and I accept it with fortitude. I have worked in construction with my father, and I have sometimes labored alongside him from seven in the morning to twelve o'clock at night.. This is, in part, what has given me the impetus to excel in school so that I could give my future family all the opportunities that I have not had up to now.

Maybe because of the influence of my mother, I have always appreciated art and the beautiful things in life. When I was in elementary school, some of my paintings were selected for a county-wide exhibit. No matter what else I do in life, I will continue painting and drawing because this is part of what I am.

Last year I received a congressional award as one of the "Most Improved Students of Miami," elected from my school, Coral Reef Senior High. I also had the honor of being one of three students of the Miami-Dade County to be hired as an Intern at the Securities and Exchange Commission. This work experience has given me a clear understanding of the path that I would like to follow in life.

I consider FSU as an institution where I will be able to grow intellectually and psychologically. I hope that, in improving myself, I could help other people and also bring honor and pride to my family


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