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Iowa State University First Year Honors Program Essay: 5 year Space Mission


turk555 1 / -  
Jan 20, 2010   #1
Essay: ISU First-Year Honors Program Essay

Journey to Space



The first book that comes to my mind to take with me on my space exploration would be "Heart of Darkness" by Joseph Conrad. This book is one of my favorite books of all time and it would perfectly suit this journey. "Heart of Darkness" is about a journey into the heart of Africa, which at that time was newly discovered, through the Congo River. This book had a huge significant impact on me because it helped me discover the true nature of humankind and how we are a very complex species that walk on this planet. This book was also a self reflection on me, because it made me think how I would handle a journey into unknown areas and a journey to my new self, especially when I am beginning my new journey in college. This book will help me in my journey as a reality check on my actions when I am exploring new planets and discovering new resources. It will help endure my long journey in space and it will help me relate my journey to the book.

A technological device I would take with me into space would be my mp3 player. Music has always been an important part of me and I could not last more then a couple of days without listening to music. Exploring new music has been one of my biggest hobbies and I also have been making music with my violin for more then 8 years, so it is part of my life. Let's face it, a five year mission is a very long time and I will probably have a lot of free time on my hands, so to keep me entertained I would pass that time with listening to music. Also music has a recharging effect on me, so whenever I feel tired or frustrated I can listen to some of my favorite tunes and then continue on my work.

The one personal item I would take with my on my space mission would be my lucky yellow swim goggles. Swimming has been the most difficult and rewarding thing I have done in high school, and my lucky yellow goggles have been an important part of it. They were given to me by my swim coach my first year swimming when I had broken my previous goggles. These goggles have brought me a lot of luck throughout my swim career and they would always be very important to me. They will help me endure in my space mission, because whenever I would become frustrated or lose hope, I would carry the goggles to remind me that difficult journey I had to go through in swimming and how much I gained from my hard work. The goggles will help me by keeping my hope alive on the mission. With all three of these items, I believe my mission will be a huge success.

Any proofread errors would be really great! Thanks!
meisj0n 8 / 272 2  
Jan 22, 2010   #2
"Heart of Darkness" is about a journey into the heart of Africa, which at that time was newly discovered, through the Congo River.

O really? not to disprove you, but it was newly discovered by the Europeans, namely the English. The indigenous Africans already lived there. maybe just say how it shows the interaction of one nation with another, that two distinct civilizations met in this novel...which really quite dark.

how we are a very complex species that walk on this planet.

pray tell how that book shows complexity? the whole going native, fallacy, ludicrousness of the European approach to the natives was horrid. I, as the reader, may wonder of the things in this book that you understood.. talk about those as examples..

While yes,

This book will help me in my journey as a reality check on my actions when I am exploring new planets and discovering new resources.

, you don't say how.. maybe mention that there has to be diplomatic and strategic approaches to unearth or uncover new territories, planets, etc. I like the reality check, but reality check what on your actions? not to do some things, to do some things more, to not do anything at all for some things? tell the reader what you think about this book.. maybe more about the strongest impact this book may have..for me it was the horrible state of power and mismanagement of resources that will remind me to think about my endeavors thoroughly before I embark on a journey where you can't turn back. (while the narrator goes back to England, you as a space-ranger (haha) may not be able to

I could not last more then a couple of days without listening to music.

Ok, so music, why not a portable computer? lol. a PSP or something can sub as an mp3. well, about this sentence, why can u not last without music? what about music is so important? you say

recharging effect

, but is that the only importance of music? maybe because listening is so passive, you can say you want to bring your electric violin (assuming you can get one) because as an honors essay, I don't think passiveness and relieving stress through using music during free time looks all that well/strong. is this really you? are you INSEPARABLE with that device? tell me more about why..less of this:

Let's face it, a five year mission is a very long time and I will probably have a lot of free time on my hands, so to keep me entertained I would pass that time with listening to music.

free time. lets just say that you are in space for a long time, mp3's are such a limited device... if you really want to talk about it, tell more about it...how it would let you flourish. I advise the violin/psp/something that reflects you as a person and not just a stressed music fan- sound reasonable?

These goggles have brought me a lot of luck throughout my swim career and they would always be very important to me.

Good item, but I have to wonder, will you swim in space? haha. maybe the memories are nice, floating in space with yellow goggles. I like the image :] but the luck thing...why is that significant? you say it will

remind me of that difficult journey I had to go through in swimming and how much I gained from my hard work.

here I must ask, what did you gain, what journey in swimming? think of what you did in swimming, was it individual races/relays? what about that will reflect on your future (in the spacecraft, i.e. college)

Ok, great. you have your items, you're all set to go, but what did you leave behind? If you could, maybe an intro, that introduces in short, these items and their importance. then again, if you find that hard, I think I would too. Overall, grammar is good. just some things that leave me wondering about who you REALLY are. things that stood out, you are a swimmer (endurance) and an avid music fan (passive/creative in that you make music with a violin) there are many things left unsaid that you can say.


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