I think the topic you chose is fine, and the description creates a favorable effect - engaging the reader by enticing his/her senses. I also like how you tied in VCU at the end. Perhaps it is a little cliche, but I don't think that ever really hurt anyone.
What I would suggest changing, however, is your sentence structure. Almost every sentence is declarative and begins with I. I wince, I begin, I look, I turn, etc. That's ok to do a couple of times, but after the first few instances it becomes noticeably repetitive. Try using different structures; they don't even have to be drastically rewritten. For example, instead of
I turn back to focus on my job, as my mind drifts off to my first memory of VCU
try "Turning back to focus on my job, my mind drifts off to my first memory of VCU." This makes it easier to read.
Another thing I might suggest: when you have dialogue, try to make it sound more natural. Right now, the things both you and Carl say seem to come from the script of an 90's private-eye tv show. I think it would sound more realistic if the speech were more casual.
Otherwise, this essay has potential, and isn't too strong or risky. It needs a little work, but could go a long way.
Good luck.