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industrial and interaction design / grown man who is doing what he loves - Syracuse Questions


Kevstevbot 1 / 2 1  
Oct 21, 2014   #1
Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse University?
Syracuse University's reputation for industrial design and entrepreneurship influenced me to apply. For as long as I can remember I have loved inventing and product design. Two summers ago, I attended a week long industrial design camp at the University of Cincinnati, the number one industrial design school in the nation. This enriching week of education, design, projects, and presentations from successful designers solidified my plans to study industrial design. Alternatively, I have always wanted to run my own company, and over the last year I started multiple entrepreneurial ventures. I enjoy setting and reaching goals, designing business plans, building a great network of people, and working with successful entrepreneurs. After researching the options from several universities, I have decided that majoring in industrial and interaction design at the College of Visual and Performing Arts and minoring in entrepreneurship at the Whitman School of Management is the perfect way to prepare myself for a successful and fulfilling career. These renowned programs along with a beautiful campus and ridiculous school spirit makes Syracuse University my number one choice!

Who is the person you dream of becoming and how do you believe Syracuse University can help you achieve this?
I dream of becoming a young man, who leaves college educated, experienced, and with a prospering company. I know that Syracuse University will give more than a head start on this dream. Syracuse University's education is unmatched in the two fields of industrial and interaction design and entrepreneurship and emerging enterprises.

The five year program at VPA will provide me with the skills and experience in a wide range of design to prepare me for any project. The VPA program also includes studying abroad and business-oriented practices, these classes along with a minor in entrepreneurship would give me experience in so many subjects and projects, I would be ready for any venture I go after. I'm eager to study with fellow students that have similar goals in their education as I do. I love working with others not only to learn from them but also to build off each others ideas and keep each other motivated.

I dream of becoming a grown man who is as self motivated as I am now; along with the same innovative and I-can-do-whatever-I-set-my-mind-to mentality. A grown man who has no single occupation but has multiple careers doing what he loves. A person who loves his life and shares his life with as many people as possible. To help others on their path to reaching their full potential.

I dream of becoming a old man who is remembered for the people he helped and can lay in complete peace on his deathbed knowing that he lived to his full potential, and go to my grave with not one idea I didn't go after and not one adventure I was never able to take.

Thank you for reading these! Any critiques, grammar help, or positives are very appreciated!
collegeplease 3 / 5 1  
Oct 23, 2014   #2
I dream of becoming a young man no comma who leaves college educated

at VPA will provide me with the skills and experience in

business-oriented practices; these classes along

so many subjects and projects(no comma)that I would be ready

similar goals in their education as I do <-redundant .

each others' ideas

To help others on their path to reaching their full potential. <- fragment sentence

I dream of becoming a old man who is remembered for the people he helped and can lay in complete peace on his deathbed knowing that he lived to his full potential, and go to my grave with not one idea I didn't go after and not one adventure I was never able to take. run-on sentence; very confusing

Overall, good essays. The second one was kind of confusing and seemed a bit redundant. I liked your idea of repetition though!
OP Kevstevbot 1 / 2 1  
Oct 23, 2014   #3
Thanks so much for the help, I am reading yours now!


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