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Impact on your life. Essay 1 and Essay 2


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Nov 21, 2009, 11:07am   #1
This essay about "impact on your life"


Everyone has someone who has made an impact on his/her life. I have plenty of examples. Another point is that, some of them were an example of who not to be. I want to tell my own story about my parents, who pushed me when inevitable impasse reached, who changed my view of this world.

Undoubtedly, parents play an important role in child's development. The first teachers we have in our lives in most cases are our parents. They teach us to walk, to speak and to success in this life. Also, they impact more than other people. And I unconsciously copy some of their styles of behavior and habits. I like their habit to help someone in need. Obviously, they make an effort to give me only good things.

No doubt, they start to influence our life as soon as we born and never stop affecting us. Currently, I feel myself like small child in a giant labyrinth. If we came across with impasse, they navigate us to the right direction.

My parents pushed me to study. The great Kazakh philosopher Abay said: "Be legible in your route, if you talented be proud and like reliable brick lie on the wall which builds your future". Briefly, my experienced parents helped me to find my place in this society.

Childhood years are indeed the most important years. Personality develops in this period and is difficult to change it later. I firmly believe that my parents impacted in shaping my future life.

Most importantly parents listened to me when I needed to talk to. When I hung over head, my parents pushed me forward with their stimulating words. Parents always try to disappear my problems and life becomes easier for me.

I like their habit to help someone in need.

Parents provide me the greatest emotional support in my life. Also, I believe the care and love among family members make stronger relation between us. Only our parents can give their children valuable life experience, behave politely, especially in this modern society.

My parents always want me to keep in mind Churchill's famous saying "Never, never give up". It turn into my life motto. With the help of advices which they tell me I can keep my head above water.

Parents like architects of our life. Moreover, we must care our parents, because they spend time with their kids. Also, they impact more than others and everlastingly grateful for their love and understanding of our souls.






This is Statement of Purpose "why they must choose me"


An undiscovered ocean lay before me, ready to be observed, but hardly seen. Life is my undiscovered ocean, where everyday I complement it with experience and knowledge. The main content of this ocean is, education. I believe that "Little knowledge is a dangerous thing". In other words, humankind must be well-educated, to save our world. My strong desire to study, to learn and to understand this world will remain my main driving force.

Since I was child, I had been engaged in activities both in and out of school. Sport activities like soccer and basketball helped me develop qualities like leadership and team working skills. Also, games as chess assisted me to create logical thinking and creativity. Playing these sports has taught me how to work with others to achieve goals. The students and teachers participated in active discussions and debates, which often produce new ideas and perspectives. This culture, I believe, has formed the basis of my life position.

Besides playing games and participating in volunteering jobs, last summer I worked as the assistant of financial analyst in local bank.

In my opinion this event determined my future life. Before this event I had always been interested in financial world and insurance sphere. My boss guided me to the stock market. Also, my boss taught me how to collect data for analysis, process statistical applications and make predictions. I started to read books about trading; my first book was called "100 Great Deals in the World History". After reading this book, I really inspired and ready to act. These activities give me valuable experience as well as satisfaction of hard work.

Currently I am studying in a Kazakh-Turkish high school for gifted boys. It offered me a multi-cultural education. A myriad of cultures and traditions meet together in one school. Teachers with professors regularly spent with students their time reading lectures and leading seminars about global problems and actual questions. To get to know other cultures we need to know numerous languages. To reach this I overcame some hurdles. But in the end I learned four extra languages.

How said Winston Churchill: "Who controls information that controls the world". Obviously, for present days education has important role in development of society. Education for humankind gives possibility to get prettier job, live successfully, have a stable position in society, serve on formation of his country and help in construction of its economy. That is why I considered to take part in international scholarship "Bolashak" to receive leading, qualitative and answering all modern international requirements education in the USA.

My interest lies in the field of Actuarial Science. I would regard my admission to the University of Texas at Austin not only as a great excellence of your program, but also an opportunity to integrate with your university's multitude of international students from all over the World.
Knowledge is power. While achieving a degree in university I can get a better understanding of the society. Similarly, I can gain tremendous life experience. With the help of exciting teachers and spectacular scientists, I can concentrate only in that direction which I will set to attain my goal.
Nov 22, 2009, 09:17pm   #2
This is a very nice tribute to your parents and you did a fine job writing it, but it would look better if you made larger paragraphs by linking some of them together.

Here are a few more minor things;


Everyone has someone who has made an impact on his/her life, and I have plenty of examples.

Another point is that, some of them were an example of who not to be. This does not belong here. If you want to put it in the essay later and elaborate, that's fine, but here it's out of place.

I want to tell my own story about my parents, who pushed me when an inevitable impasse was reached, who changed my view of this world.

start to influence our lives as soon as we born and never stop affecting us.

Most importantly, my parents listened to me when I needed to talk to.

Parents always try to make my problems disappear and life becomes easier for me.


2.
This is very well written, but something that could make it much better would be to talk about specific aspects of the school which would make it the perfect place for you. For example, log onto the schools website and look up a professor or two, who you would like to have teach you, and see what it says about them.

...where every day I complement it...

Also, games such as chess assisted me in learning logical thinking and creativity.



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