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'Home across the Atlantic Ocean' -Your Roommate, a TCK ( Stanford Letter to Roommate)


Philia10 1 / 1  
Nov 20, 2011   #1
Hi! Here is my first draft of the Roommate Essay. Be critical and feel free to correct any mistakes. Do you think that my personality shines through?

Thank you for any advice!


Dear Roommate,

my old home is 5747 miles away, across the Atlantic Ocean. But let us together make Stanford our new home! Leaving behind our sweet high school time, let us face new challenges and make the best of the opportunities we were blessed with! Yet, who is the person, with whom you will share your room and your Stanford experience? My name is Lisa and I am a German with Chinese origins. I love both cultures and you will taste that, too: Someday, I will surprise you with a German apple cake and on another day with a traditional Chinese dish. Although the two cultures seem so unlike on the first look, I especially appreciate the hospitality, the work ethic, the literature and the arts of both cultures. By the way, I am a big fan of Einstein, Confucius and Beethoven, and they are partly responsible that science, philosophy and music are my greatest passions.

Maybe I am a TCK, a third-culture kid. Maybe this is the reason why I have dreamed of studying in another country far away from Germany since high school. I like the exile, since the world is my home, and I enjoy making new friends coming from all around the globe. You will find out soon that I am people person: I enjoy sharing my thoughts and feelings with other people and strongly appreciate true friendships. Besides, I am quite cheerful and optimistic, thus, you will always receive a smile and a warm welcome from me!

Yours truly,
Lisa
Walden 2 / 30  
Dec 26, 2011   #2
I like the essay overall but it seems that you demonstrate who you are more by saying than by actions. Maybe try to include what you do that expresses your interests in science, philosophy and music. I am sure that that will catch their eyes more than just telling them becaue it feels like it should be a little more in depth to show how these interests make you Stanford ready.


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