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"High tuition rates and its negative impact on students"-Personal essay for UT


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Hi everyone, this is my personal essay for UT admission and I appreciated the feedback from my Personal statement essay so I would greatly apprecitate any feedback on this one as well.

Throughout childhood and young adult life, students are preached to about getting good grades and participating in programs so they can go to college and get a good job. However, receiving good grades and participating in extracurricular activities is not always enough. Like most things in life, one obstacle stands in the way and that obstacle is cost. The students that are eligible to get into the college of their choice are often stymied by tuition costs and don't qualify for grants or financial aid because their parents earn too much or if they qualify for aid spend years in debt paying it off. If children are supposed to be our future, then how can they achieve their goals if they are unable to afford the means of achieving those goals? As a student myself, making college affordable for not only myself but for other students as well is significant for not only our generation but for future generations as well.
Tuition rate increases have increased significantly in the past year which making it increasingly difficult for students to afford attending college. According to a study by NPR, "the average increase was 7.9 percent...." To some, an eight percent might not like seem like a lot but when room and board, books, and other fees are added to the equation then the costs really add up. In my home state of California, eight percent is the actual increase in tuition according to mps.org and has made me explore other colleges outside California. This increase has made it difficult for others I know that attend college in California to be able to not only afford it but to be able to pay their debts off in a timely matter. Eight percent is only and average however and some states have increased by more. The two states that have the highest increased tuition rates according to the same study are Iowa which has increased up to forty percent and Wisconsin which is up twenty percent. The highest increases are seen in the fields nursing, engineering, and in-state students and this last increase has made me rethink going to school in my own state by looking outside California to attend college. If this doesn't change and students are unable to finish college by not being able to pay their costs, then it's not just those students that are being hurt it is our society.
Student aid is available but is not available for every student. At every school everywhere there are workshops for student aid such as grants and loans but there are stipulations on who qualifies and who doesn't. According the same study by NPR, "...the federal government has stepped in with more aid...$10 billion more in Pell Grants alone." However, the acceptance for grants is mostly based on family income. If income exceeds a certain amount then the family does not qualify and if the family income is below a certain amount and they do qualify then they still have to deal with paying the increasing cost. Student aid should not just be available for the few; it should be available for the masses. I and others in my situation only qualify for partial aid and are forced to take out loans for the rest in which it will take years to pay off. This can't continue and needs to change so everyone can receive the aid they need to obtain the education they but more importantly to receive the job they want.
When our country was first settled it was believed that every student receive an education and that remains as true then as it does today and for the future. That education should be an affordable one. Prominent jobs such as teachers, doctors, and politicians are obtained only from going to college but if this current trend of tuition increases and student aid increases continue then these jobs and others like it will become a thing of legend. College should be affordable to everyone and in a world of constant change this is one topic that doesn't just affect us students today; it affects the students of tomorrow.

Aug 9, 2011, 03:37pm   #2
... about getting good grades and participating in programs so they can go to college and get a good jobs.

Like many things in life, one obstacle stands in the way and that obstacle is cost.

As a student myself, making college affordable for not only myself but for other students as well, is significant, not only for our generation but for future generations as well.

Tuition rate increases have increased significantly in the past year which making it increasingly difficult for students to afford attending college.---I don't like this sentence because of 3 different words with 'increase' in them. It just sounds too repetitive.

To some, an eight percent hike might not like seem like a lot but when room and board, books, and other fees are added to the equation, then the costs really add up.

This increase has made it difficult for others I know, who attend college in California, to be able to not only afford it but to be able to pay their debts off in a timely manner.

At every schools everywhere there...

If income exceeds a certain amount, then the family does not qualify, and if the family income is below a certain amount and they do qualify, then they still have to deal with paying the increasing costs.

When our country was first settled, it was believed that every student would receive an education...

Prominent jobs such as teachers, doctors, and politicians are obtained only by going to college, but if this current trend of tuition increases and student aid increases continue then these jobs and others like them will become a thing of legend. ---How could this be?

You've made some very good points! Watch your punctuation, you don't seem to enjoy using it! Good luck in school and have fun!!

:)
Aug 9, 2011, 03:38pm   #3
... about getting good grades and participating in programs so they can go to college and get a good jobs.

Like many things in life, one obstacle stands in the way and that obstacle is cost.

As a student myself, making college affordable for not only myself but for other students as well, is significant, not only for our generation but for future generations as well.

Tuition rate increases have increased significantly in the past year which making it increasingly difficult for students to afford attending college.---I don't like this sentence because of 3 different words with 'increase' in them. It just sounds too repetitive.

To some, an eight percent hike might not like seem like a lot but when room and board, books, and other fees are added to the equation, then the costs really add up.

This increase has made it difficult for others I know, who attend college in California, to be able to not only afford it but to be able to pay their debts off in a timely manner.

At every schools everywhere there...

If income exceeds a certain amount, then the family does not qualify, and if the family income is below a certain amount and they do qualify, then they still have to deal with paying the increasing costs.

When our country was first settled, it was believed that every student would receive an education...

Prominent jobs such as teachers, doctors, and politicians are obtained only by going to college, but if this current trend of tuition increases and student aid increases continue then these jobs and others like them will become a thing of legend. ---How could this be?

You've made some very good points! Watch your punctuation, you don't seem to enjoy using it! Good luck in school and have fun!!

:)
Aug 9, 2011, 08:19pm   #4
Really good topic and good analyse.
it'''s not only in USA but the imperialists try to make education affordable to the eleit only all over the world. and let poors to be poorer.
thanks for the essay ladib



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