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HEOP ESSAY for PARTICIPATION... FREE MONEY.


felixs07 9 / 10  
Dec 28, 2008   #1
Why would you like to be considered for the Program? What benefits can the AOP/HEOP Program offer you as a student? How will the Program be enriched by your participation?

I will never forget the blissful expression on her face the day I was born. It all took place in the emergency room where my mother stared at me in exhilaration and relief. It was such a beautiful moment in her life, holding me in her arms. I will never forget that expression because my aunt was a camera man at the time. I am able to watch my birth whenever my mother gets into one of the "I am so proud of you" moods.

The AOP/HEOP program would give me an opportunity to show back love for my family by assisting me economically and academically through college. A very good university could be very pricey and coming from a low income family would make it difficult to attend one. This is where HEOP would come to assist me where I am a candidate who is eager to attend a successful college but, my SAT scores and household's finances put me as risk to do so. HEOP would assist me with counseling, tutoring and academic support where it would help me to bypass my disability in learning.

My mother faced the challenge of being a single mother and raising two daughters and one son. When daily life was rough, she was the one who advised me not to quit and always give it my best. As I grew, I began to compare her to other mothers and realize how much my mother had done for me and my sisters. Every day, my mom would tell me to make the right choices and choose the right path that would keep her proud. I learned how to be independent at an early age and I was determined to fulfill my potential.

Being a leader would give me the skills to enrich others who need support. This would allow HEOP participants to act as a family in order to assist another ones dream. I would give back by acting as a tutor, HEOP candidate, role model and a leader. This would benefit the program to keep its name.
christineg711 2 / 23  
Dec 28, 2008   #2
I will never forget that expression because my aunt was a camera WOMAN at the time. (I'm not exactly 100% sure if that should be woman or man)

A good university can be very pricey and, coming from a low income family, can be difficult to attend.

This is where HEOP would come to assist me where I am a candidate who is eager to attend a successful college but, my SAT scores and household's finances put me as risk to do so.

I think this might read clearer as
This is where HEOP would come to assist me. I am a candidate who is eager to attend a successful college but, my SAT scores and household's finances put me as risk to do so.

I'm not too sure about that last sentence.

Good luck!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 29, 2008   #3
The first sentence, as you had it, seems wrong because you have not yet explained how you remember the moment you were born... I'll fix like this:

I am fortunate to know the blissful expression on her face the day I was born. It all took place in the emergency room where my mother stared at me in exhilaration and relief. It was such a beautiful moment

ohhhh... very good job, connecting it to the program in the second paragraph.

My mother faced great challenges as a single parent, raising two daughters and one son.

And, this last sentence needs to be revised, but i am not sure how to help with it:
This would benefit the program to keep its name.

Good luck!! This is well-done, because you make it very personal and family-oriented.
OP felixs07 9 / 10  
Dec 31, 2008   #4
thank you very much


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