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Health Science and Space exploration Paragraph- area of research study


kevin1225 1 / 6  
Dec 27, 2010   #1
What are of research should not be funded and why?

Space exploration is the area of research that should not be funded for its ineffective use and the harm that it creates. From Galileo to E.T, humankind has always been obsessed with the universe. The question of whether or not extraterrestrial life exists continues to irritate us each day, causing billions and billions of dollars being spent on several space exploration programs. However, is this really necessary? Should the government be funding these innovative projects when over 10.8% Canadian are still under the poverty line? Does our fascination with space outweigh the life-threatening diseases that face us today? When the first human stepped on the surface of the moon, the famous phrase: "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" was coined. Yet, in my opinion, I do not see how our civilization has taken a "giant leap" over the past 40 years. The billions that were spent on this project could have gone to a much better initiative. No human has yet stepped on the bottom of the ocean, or been to the Earth's center core. Nevertheless, we are pushing to travel to another plant to explore a completely different environment. The space should be left as a mystery to mankind, a place of marvel and admiration. Instead of letting NASA tell us the name of every constellation, we should let our imagine do the job and appreciate the wonders of the great universe.
Guest /  
Dec 28, 2010   #2
From Galileo to E.T. , humankind

The question of whether or not extraterrestrial life exists or not continues to irritate us each day

innovative projects when over 10.8% Canadians are still

are still under the poverty line?still live in poverty?

The Space should be left as a mystery to mankindbefore, you said humankind...:P

No human has yet stepped on the bottom of the oceanocean floor

Instead of letting NASA tell us the name of every constellation

we should let our imagineimagination do the job

Just some grammar fix-ups, but the paragraph itself has a lot of your voice in it, not just random facts. The sentences flow well and the paragraph itself is cohesive, since it only sticks to one topic. Great! :D
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 9, 2011   #3
At this part, you can be a little clearer by adding a word:
Does our fascination with space outweigh the importance of life-threatening diseases that face us today? ---i.e. the fascination is weighed against the importance.

At the end you make a lot of weak arguments:

No human has yet stepped on the bottom of the ocean,--yes we have

The Space should be left as a mystery to mankind, a place of marvel and admiration. ----Forever?

...we should let our imagine imagination do the job and appreciate the wonders of the great universe.---it's not necessary to say things like this. Focus on the fact that it is irresponsible to spend billions on a space program when we have so many hungry people in the world.

Even though arguments, you have a strong premise. Mankind should attend to the suffering before getting all fancy! :-)


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