Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 5


'having chosen physics as a career' - UC PROMPT #2 ESSAY


darknite94 1 / 2  
Nov 19, 2011   #1
hi,

I'm posting my UC prompt #2
Please review it for me guys !

MANY THANKS !! :D

The most important accomplishment that I feel proud of, is having chosen physics as a career after having studied two semesters of business simply because it relates to my 'go-getter' attitude as I always seem to accomplish something, if and only if I like it.

The sudden decision to take physics occurred during a revision test in my business management class, just a month before the second semester exam. It was then that I realized that business was not my passion. However, even with that thought in my mind, I achieved the highest marks in that test.

I faced several obstacles and condescension because my parents thought the idea was foolish and would lead to a fall in my grades. My IB coordinator was adamant to not allow me this change but so was I when I came with up an arbitrary solution of giving an entrance test.

During the week before the entrance test, I was not able to study much because my parents and tutors would lecture me on the consequences thus I would be forced to study at night but I was determined to pass the entrance test with high marks.

After having successfully passed the test, much to the surprise of everyone, I still faced condescension and unanswered questions. Hence, I explained to my mum that I would successfully pass the physics semester because I always achieved what I set my mind to, however, this was in fields other than studying, where I would go to great lengths to achieve what I wanted.

Thus this decision to take physics helped me test the 'go-getter' attitude in a new field, education and surpass my own potential.

Eventually, I achieved the highest grade and surpassed everyone's expectations. I knew I would achieve this result because I really liked physics but was blindsided with business management due to parental pressure and so, when I really decided to study for physics, not just because of the one-year backload but also because of my passion, I knew that a good outcome was inevitable.

I feel proud for having stood by my decision not only because I gained a better understanding about my potential, but also because I gained a new level of confidence, which I would like to use to exhibit my scientific potential in the field of aeronautics. Moreover, with the help of my 'go-getter' attitude, I hope to change the aviation industry by subverting the level of the expectation of everyone, including my own.

OPEN TO UR THOUGHTS :) !
Arabo33 2 / 6  
Nov 19, 2011   #2
Hi Darknite94. The story seems good but i would not recommend using the intro/opening you did. Think of something interesting.

Hope that helps and good luck.
bayshark 2 / 2  
Nov 19, 2011   #3
Enjoyed the story, but I agree with Arabo33; re-think the introduction and you should be good. Hope everything works out for you!
parker 4 / 16  
Nov 21, 2011   #4
generally a nice story and solid structure. But your opening sentense is too long to interpret; besides, it contains too many clause and will make reader confused. so i suggest you to revise it or use a new opening paragraph.
OP darknite94 1 / 2  
Nov 22, 2011   #5
thanks for your time reading my essay

i have edited the first paragraph
Please review it again

As the realization came into being, people said it was too late. But somehow I did not believe this, as "It's never too late to be who you might have been". Such optimism and the 'go-getter' attitude, together, motivated me to choose the right career decision in the nick of time.

The sudden decision to take physics occurred during a revision test in my business management class, just a month before the second semester exam. It was then that I realized that business was not my passion. However, even with that thought in my mind, I achieved the highest marks in that test.

I faced several obstacles and condescension because my parents thought the idea was foolish and would lead to a fall in my grades. My IB coordinator was adamant to not allow me this change but so was I when I came with up an arbitrary solution of giving an entrance test.

During the week before the entrance test, I was not able to study much because my parents and tutors would lecture me on the consequences thus I would be forced to study at night but I was determined to pass the entrance test with high marks.

After having successfully passed the test, much to the surprise of everyone, I still faced condescension and unanswered questions. Hence, I explained to my mum that I would successfully pass the physics semester because I always achieved what I set my mind to, however, this was in fields other than studying, where I would go to great lengths to achieve what I wanted.

Thus this decision to take physics helped me test the 'go-getter' attitude in a new field, education and surpass my own potential.

Eventually, I achieved the highest grade and surpassed everyone's expectations. I knew I would achieve this result because I really liked physics but was blindsided with business management due to parental pressure and so, when I really decided to study for physics, not just because of the one-year backload but also because of my passion, I knew that a good outcome was inevitable.

I feel proud for having stood by my decision not only because I gained a better understanding about my potential, but also because I gained a new level of confidence, which I would like to use to exhibit my scientific potential in the field of aeronautics. Moreover, with the help of my 'go-getter' attitude, I hope to change the aviation industry by subverting the level of the expectation of everyone, including my own.

MANY THANKS !


Home / Undergraduate / 'having chosen physics as a career' - UC PROMPT #2 ESSAY
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳