Hair, style and Fashion Merchandising - MY FIT ESSAY

There is no greater accomplishment than knowing you made someone feel beautiful. At the age of 11 I was diagnosed with a type of cancer called Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Having no hair is not easy for anyone, let alone an eleven-year-old girl. Through my struggles I discovered that I had a passion for making people feel their best. This led me to pursue a career in the beauty industry following my High School Graduation. I would like to take this passion to the next level in the Fashion Merchandising program at FIT.

The fact of the matter is Cancer is no cakewalk. You are pumped with harmful chemicals that are killing the deadly virus floating all around your body. During my first year of middle school I had no idea of technicalities, all I could see was the baldhead and face that stared back at me in the mirror. I was unrecognizable. I did not feel beautiful. That is when I began studying all different styles. Going to the mall to buy a new outfit was favorite activity. The aisles of different colors and fabrics made me feel like I could be anyone I wanted to be, caner had nothing on me. I explored my creativity and my closet would never be the same again. I can remember one instance of walking into the fitting room, arms filled, thinking, "You don't need hair to look good". That was the first time I felt beautiful since before I had gotten sick.

After finishing high school I attended Empire Beauty School at Peekskill. While there I studied cosmetology. I worked hard, was given the title of "Student of the Month", met many new friends and began my first career. After 10 months and 1000 hours of hard work I graduated, ready to take on the world. I found my first job right away. There I learned the true meaning of hard work. I would go home exhausted after working 10-hour days, never taking a break for lunch or for just a second of rest. As exhausting as each day may have been I was never happier. Being able to put a smile on someone's face was the most fulfilling feeling.

Being a Hair Stylist has not only given me the opportunity to make people feel good, it also showed me a side of the fashion industry I had never seen before. A style is not only fabulous hair or a beautiful pair of heels, it is an entire collection of designs working together to become one. After attending multiple classes and fashion shoots I realized that not only did I have a passion for hair, I had one in fashion as well. Being able to put together an entire look from head to toe is something I would love to do.

Through my life experiences I believe that I would be a strong candidate for the Fashion Merchandising program at FIT. Beating cancer has taught me that anything is possible through hard work and perservierence. I know what a hard days work is like due to my career in the cosmetology industry. There is no better place imaginable to learn a new career than The Fashion Institut

-... when I began studying fashion of all kinds in order to cover up what I saw as my physical imperfections.


- was my favorite...


- canc er


- this new course you are about to study is only to enhance and widen your current career capacity.


-... hard work, I graduated.Ready

I am not sure what the prompt is for this essay but I like what I have read in its totality. Aside from these few grammatical errors that I pointed out, you have written a very solid and competent essay. It would help in the further review of your essay though if you could provide the prompt so that I can see if the essay totally fits into it or if there is a need for you to add, delete, or revise any portion. But I hope these early comments help you out somehow :-)

Thank you so much! i appreciate your feedback. I never really read it over because I wasn't entirely sure if it was even good enough to send in! i have not written an essay in years. I will look it over and send you the revisions! The essay is about why I should be accepted into FIT's fashion merchandising program.